IT’S A MADHOUSE HERE

Posted on December 13, 2019 by

mental health

Ralph sighed and gazed at pebbles between his slippered feet.  He was unusually lucid today.   The sign says, “Mental health facility” but “It’s a madhouse here;” is what the residents say.  The words sting.

Three:  Four siblings, five cousins in grandma’s house.  Madhouse!

Eight: Moody stepfather, temper control set on mad.  Madhouse!

Nineteen: Off campus house with four college buddies. Madhouse!

Thirty-six:  Brief tenure as cut-throat attorney – Madhouse!

Forty-eight:  Stock broker.  –  Madhouse!

Fifty-two:  Bankrupt, wife left, ulcer surgery, auto repossessed, phone ringing.  Madhouse!

Sixty:  Echoing in his ears,  “It’s a madhouse here.”

Too lucid today; he regressed into silence.

************

Image: Pixabay

 

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ANGRY ANDREW

Posted on December 12, 2019 by

angry andrew

I came up with Angry Andrew while passing time on a hundred mile trip with the little ones back in 2016.  They joined in on my impromptu lesson on anger.

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He was known as Angry Andrew;

Any mistake and his temper flew.

People stepped aside,

Until the day he died

Without a friend to bid him adieu.

*************

Image:  Pixabay

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CANE PAIN

Posted on December 11, 2019 by

holding hands

Hope you enjoy this rerun.  It is near the top of all my posts as far as likes and comments.  I still get a kick out of it.  Come and grow old with me.

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How humiliating!  I had to hold my husband’s hand as we walked to the car this morning.  Now we’ve been married and I have held my dear husband’s hand for 63 years with pleasure, many miles I’m sure and enjoyed each mile of it, but that was when I didn’t have to hold his hand.  I assure you there is a vast difference in holding hands and in having to hold hands.

Situation was this:  My eighty-six year old husband, Sammy,  and I went out to eat breakfast at the Mason Lodge Fundraiser for the Senior Center.  The following is reason for my agitation.

  1. We went in separate vehicles. I didn’t care about where he parked because he is fit as a fiddle and runs most anywhere he goes.

  2. I did care about where I parked. But I still had to go to the back forty to find a place.  I got out of the car, couldn’t even see the entrance door, so I looked at my cane over in the passenger seat.  Looked for the entrance again.  It hadn’t moved any closer.  Looked at the cane in the passenger seat again.  Could I manage without it?  Which is preferable:  to waddle with a cane, or to double-waddle without it?

  1. I remind myself I’m at a fundraiser for Senior Citizens. Surely others will have canes.  My “without-cane” waddle is pretty bad and besides I might fall.  I take the cane.

  2. Yes, there were others with canes. That made it worse.  They were all old people with canes and waddles, some even had a waddling canes!  What if younger people saw me with them!  My hair is not gray.  Maybe they would think I was post accident not pre accident.  If I had borrowed Sammy’s workout jacket, they might think I had just stretched a muscle.

  3. I ditched the cane on the back of a chair as soon as I found an empty one. It was much more age appropriate for me to hang onto the back of all the chairs as I waddled to the food line.

  4. I believe holding a full plate of biscuits, gravy, eggs, hash-browns, pancake, and sausage strengthened me. Fortified by the outlook of food and with the determination that I was not going to drop that plate, I was able to walk slowly and gracefully back to the chair where my cane waited unused.  At least I walked slowly and steadily—didn’t want to jiggle my food together.

  5. Friends sat with us. Good food.  Good visiting.  I only asked Sammy to go for one refill of gravy for me.  He hopped right up, got a bowl of gravy for me.  I shared it with him and a friend.  Others might not have noticed that he was getting the gravy for me.

  6. Finally it is bye-bye, time to go. After friends left, I retrieved the cane and headed down the aisle.  With cane in my right hand, Sammy took my left.  We both tried to ignore the cane.  Before we left, a friend gave me a gift of a candle.  Sweet of her but I didn’t have a third hand!  Sammy had two hands  – one free of me so he carried the candle in it.  He went to my car with me—he walked, I waddled, but I was able to keep my cane from waddling.

True to our sixty-three years together, he assured himself that I was safely in the car, kissed me bye, and dashed back to his vehicle.

I surely must have done something right.  I made no mistake when I fluttered my eyelashes at him when I was eighteen.

 

Posted in aging, humor, long marriage, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , | 7 Comments

LETTER TO KENLYN

Posted on December 10, 2019 by

Kenlyn 1

 I’m glad to find this.  I need to read it to Kenlyn now that she is five.  She is still my youngest great granddaughter.

My dear one-year-old Kenlyn,

In our family, you are the youngest, I am the oldest except for Papa Sammy who is older than I.  But he is a man.  I want to talk girl talk.  You see once upon a time I was the age you are now.  But I don’t remember that time.

I do remember being a baby girl not much older than you – about Addy’s age.  I remember my daddy holding me as we walked into a church.  I remember wearing a pretty bonnet.  I got a new baby brother about that time.  I don’t remember him when he was that little.

I do remember when I was just a little older maybe like your other sister and we had a mama goat who had some babies.  Everybody laughed at me because I was all excited said, “Old Nanny Goat had some new puppies.”  I didn’t know why they laughed and I felt bad.  Remember when people laugh at you, they are laughing because you are so cute not because you did anything wrong.

I  started to school in first grade just like Ashlyn will do next year.  My first lesson was a picture of a cradle with  B A B Y printed under it.  I liked school a lot.  My brother got sick one day; my mother said it was because he ate too many oranges!  I wonder how many he ate.  Lots of things happened when I was that age that I wonder about.  Wondering is a good thing to do.  Learning is lots of fun when you wonder about things.

I liked to color and cut out paper dolls when I was nine like Jadalyn.  I play a drawing game with Jadalyn.  I draw a mark and she has to make a picture out of it, then she draws a mark and I make a picture.  We like to do that together.

All you girls like electrical gadgets like computers and cell phones.  The first time I remember using a telephone was when I was in high school – way bigger than Jadalyn even!  I used the phone at school to call my Grandma Rodgers.  I was sort of scared to even do that!  Lots of things have changed.  And lots of things will change.

One thing has always been and does not change.  That is Jesus.  He loved me when I was a baby and he loves me still.  He loves you now when you are a baby and he will always love you.  That is very important for you to know.  And it is important to know that I love you.  Someday before you are eighty like me,  I will go to Heaven  and I will still be loving you even then.

Love you, my littlest baby.

**************

KENLYN, MY SWEET GIRL – This was you this month,  December 2019.  Yes, you still love the kindle, phone, or tablet.  You listen to good stories and songs.  You have on warm clothes; see the snow out the window.  I’m glad you live close by so I can see you often.  You started pre-school this year.  You color beautifully; you know your letters, and some of the sounds; you can count to 20, but you miss 17 sometimes.  Everybody misses something sometime.  Don’t be bothered if you miss sometimes, but always want to do better.  Remember lots of folks love you.  And a lot of them will love you forever just like me and Jesus.

Kenlyn dec19

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SIMPLIFYING SHAKESPEARE

Posted on December 9, 2019 by

romeo

“Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.”  So saith the Bard, Shakespeare.  

Forgive me, Shakespeare Fans.  My Shakespeare classes are long gone so I can do what I want to with my memories of his writings.  However, as Shakespeare said above, trust a few, I’m not one of them!  I can’t resist a little fun at the Bard’s expense.

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In  A Midsummer Night’s  Dream, Romeo carried Juliet off to his little Hamlet near the Merchant’s Home of Venice.  He was warned by the Merry Wives of Windsor that much is required for the Taming of the Shrew. “Much Ado about Nothing,” he cried, “The Tempest will be calmed by the Twelfth Night.”  He realized Love’s Labour Lost could result in a Comedy of Errors, but Measure for Measure, he believed love could be As You Like It.  How nice to be the sire to two little ones, Troilus and Cressida, Cressida could have her pick of  Cymbeline and Pericles, The Prince of Tyre or Orthello.  He would tell them Winter Tales of Kings Henry, John, and Richard.  “Oh, how delightful we are, Romeo and Juliet!” he mused as he set off to find his lovely Juliet.

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Image: Pixabay

Posted in humor, literature, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

CAN I BE GOOD ENOUGH?

Posted on December 8, 2019 by

thank you 2019

A few months ago I had a dream in which in was sitting in a church auditorium and watched as children and some adults were ascending stairways on each side of the church.  I realized that the rapture (catching away of the church) was happening and I was not going.  I was left with some other people in the church.  I was troubled, I said,  “Lord, I’m counting on your blood to save me.  I have no other way.”

When I awoke,  I meditated on the meaning of the dream, because I was/am convinced that I am saved by the blood of Jesus and that I will go with him when he calls. I believe I know the reason for the dream.  I have always been a “do something” kind of person; I have a reputation for “doing” good deeds (My reputation is better than the real “me.”)  I believe the dream was a test to see if I really counted on Jesus or did I count on my good deeds.  I am so thankful that even in that test, I just humbly bowed to my dependence on Jesus.  No good that I have done can save me.  Only Jesus.  ***************

The following is an excerpt from a page on my menu,  Jehovah-tsidkenu, Our Righteousness.

“Many modern American Christians have a concept of righteousness that portrays positive traits such as honesty, virtuousness, behaving well, and avoiding evil and temptations of the flesh.  Among some Christians, that can be summed up in the statement “We don’t drink, smoke, or chew, and we don’t run around with those who do.”   That philosophy will lead to better health and good living, but it falls short of being the righteousness of God.

Neither good deeds nor sacrifice will make one righteous.  Thus, the need for Jehovah-tsidkenu – THE LORD OUR RIGHTEOUSNESS!  No other will do.

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Click “Jehovah names” for drop down showing Jehovah-tsidkenu for more about Jesus, our Righteousness

Image: Pixabay

Posted in good deeds, Jesus, Jesus only way, rapture, salvation, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , | 26 Comments

SOUND OF THANKSGIVING – 2014

Posted on December 7, 2019 by
food

Thanksgiving – 2014

 You learned to play the scale; you are so gifted. – So nice to have you come. – Gramma, I writed you a letter – Got anymore of Vicky’s cake left? – It took lots of pecans to fill that deep dish – John, that smoked turkey is delicious; no one can do it like you. – Whose girl is she? – That’s my Alice in Wonderland. – I want a picture of all seven girls. – I’m stuffed – Try this peach butter – I like your hair like that – Roger, you pray. – Carl, you can’t leave without “Thanksgiving Singing – Whatcha watchin’ – Remember mom’s dressing? Mine’s called Stove Top. – Want some fruit salad? Yes, oops! – Get the boys in the picture. – That has to be three years ago, I can tell by the hair color. – I want to read my “Thanks” poem. – She can really swing that hoola-hoop. -There were 101 people came over. – Lord Jesus, we thank you. – Anyone want more sweet potatoes?”

NOT HEARD: That extra thirty pounds sure looks nice on you.

 

Image: Unsplash – Stefan Vladimirov

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IN DEFENSE OF A MUCH-MALIGNED, PRAGMATIC, PARENTHETICAL EXPRESSION

Posted on December 6, 2019 by

speaker

NOTE:  This was written in November ’14, for a speech in Toastmaster Club because in my last speech I had been rounded criticized, deservedly so, for saying “you know” excessively.  So just for fun, I tried to offer this excuse.  I don’t think I convinced them.  You know some cohorts can be stubborn critters!

Do I sound like a teacher? Well, that’s like, I mean to say, that’s who I am, you know! Are you with me? To be honest, you know, words are beautiful! You know what I mean? As a matter of fact, many expressions serve very pragmatic functions which add color and excitement to what might be dull, dry, and dead. You with me?

So in this “defense of a much-maligned, pragmatic, parenthetical expression” I’m arguing for the right to say “you know.”

My defending “you know” reminds me of the mother who watched her son in a boot camp march. She said, “Oh, look, everybody is out of step except Johnny!” I’m not saying everyone is wrong except me, but, you know on the other hand, I don’t plan to eliminate all my “you knows.” Let me tell you why. “You know” is a parenthetical expression just like these phrases: as a matter of fact, to be honest, and you understand.

1. When I want to confirm to my audience that I am aware I am telling them something they already know. For instance: It is so hot in August, you know, I am planning to set aside extra funds to vacation at Yellowstone Park during that month.

2. When you want to soften criticism. For instance: You know, you really shouldn’t text while driving.

3. When you want your audience to identify with your imagery. For instance: When the man drove through my yard, you know, he dug ruts that will last all season.

4. When clarifying. For instance: I’m going to buy a new car; you know, one of those elite styles that make people think I can afford it.

5. When used like a question. For instance: Every grandmother has the most beautiful grandchildren in the world, you know?

Um, I agree, filler words can be very distracting if they are just thrown in to cover a pause when choosing a particular word or thought. I once counted 37 “you knows” in a thirty minute presentation. That’s excessive and irritating.

I have deliberately gone overboard with my “you knows” in this presentation to prove that point. Excessive and irritating!

So seriously —

As a helpful hint, if you would not write “you know” in an essay, it probably should not be used in a spoken presentation either. But if you, like, really, um, er, mean “you know” then use “you know.”

Posted in humor, me, teaching, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 12 Comments

FROM MOM TO SON

Posted on December 5, 2019 by

writing

Does this mom get a bit carried away with her idioms?  Have fun with this “idiomatic” mom.

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Dear Son, my own flesh and blood:

To see you would be a sight for sore eyes.  You are the heart of my heart.

So you have a gut feeling your boss is about to give you a kick in the teeth? He didn’t like it when you were caught red handed, then had a slip of the tongue and called him a pain in the neck?  That put his nose out of joint, you say?

If he’s giving you a cold shoulder and you are not seeing eye to eye, you might not get the promotion you’ve had your eyes on.  Just keep your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel, keep a stiff upper lip, stay on your toes, and keep your fingers crossed.  It certainly won’t help to put your foot in your mouth,  get cold feet or say something that gets you in over your head. Maybe he is just pulling your leg.  If you keep your eyes open, your chin up, offer to lend him a hand,  and work your fingers to the bone you might keep the job by the skin of your teeth if you’re not weak-kneed, rubber-spined or thick-headed.

Have you had your head in the clouds and do you wear your heart on your sleeve or have you been crying your heart out?  A good rule of thumb is to wash your hands of your pride, beg his mercy, pat yourself on the back, go back to your neck of the woods, let your hair down, and play it by ear.  But be prepared for your blood to boil if he chooses to just step over your dead body.

I just wanted to speak my mind and get this off my chest.  My lips are sealed, and I’m here to help you face the music.  You’re my heart’s delight.  I’ve loved you, warts and all, since you were wet behind the ears.  I’d give an arm and leg for you. Now have a cookie for your sweet tooth, take the weight off your shoulders, relax and keep your head above the water.

Meanwhile, hang on to that job with all four feet, grow some hair on your chest, get some iron in your blood, and grow nerves of steel, come to your senses, dig your heels in, and use some elbow grease, ‘cause, make no bones about it,  you can’t bring your lazy carcass to my couch, feed your face at my table, and spin your hard luck stories in my ears.  You will not be a yoke on my back. If you plan to be here under my nose I will wash my hands of you.

From your bone weary but loving mother

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Image: Pixabay

Posted in humor, Mother's Day, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 17 Comments

I’M GOING OUT FOR RECESS

Posted on December 4, 2019 by

Oneta 84

I can’t keep up!  I refuse to give up!  So what can I do during December recess.  I can revisit some of my best posts – according to me – and recycle.  There are very few of you who started out with me.  Even if you did, I certainly don’t pride myself enough to believe you would remember what I said four years ago!  And besides I wrote better stuff when I was younger!  Ouch, that hurts.  But it is true.  So that is what I will do at recess.  I will copy and paste so I can edit if needed.  I have some good stories from long ago so I offer them to you for a used Christmas present.  😀

I plan to continue reading and commenting on yours.  I can do that late nights.  I seldom feel inspired to write at day’s end.

 

Posted in me, report, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 26 Comments