Putting my hat in the ring….

Oneta 84

Friends, Family, and Fellow Americans, I put before you another choice – a choice far superior to what you have heard before.  First I will introduce myself, and list my strengths.

ONETA Hayes – unrecognized now but I point out how important it is.

ONETA – a nice mix between Indian and Mexican.  I will be known by one name only – celebrity status like Beyonce, Madonna, Oprah, Hillary.  (Hopefully I can play down my obviously European last name.)

Seventy-eight years old- Yes, I’ll lie a little.  I need the practice for future events.  But I need to be older than Bernie so I can’t overdo it.  Nobody in media will take note of it, me being a Democrat.  I’m sure no birth certificate will be required.  I was thirty-one when I graduated from college – so right there is evidence that supports my younger age.

Married for 65 years –  That’s not cool but I will apologize for lack of gender confusion and explain that in my day we did what was expected by polite society.  I can pretend to be the head of the household instead of saying I have a wonderfully patient and loving husband.

Diversity status:  My diverse status as a white older wise woman will not mean much…….

BUT  – ARE YOU READY?   My Diversity Status –  Victim-hood.  I will run as a FAT woman.  Fat people of the land are through suffering the degrading treatment from the skinny elites of the fashion world. Fat men, women, children of all ages will give their support.  They will gladly contribute a dollar a pound to gain respect of society.  So that takes care of the money issue.

Our slogan is “We, the Fat people of America, are no longer willing to carry the weight of America” – neither on our hips nor in our bellies!

Our acronym is FFWNLCYW!  Fat Folks Will No Longer Carry Your Weight!  Yes, that acronym will fit on a size 4X shirt, which will be provided to all.

And we will give a year for all people to fit that shirt.  We’ll share and share alike.  And it is the skinnies who will have to change.  That’s Socialism where it matters.  All equal.  And we fatties are not going to sacrifice by dieting, binging, vomiting/purging, or exercising.

If you are not overweight, you must register and find yourselves a place in the many food lines being provided in order to bring about Socialism of the Fat.  We will kick off our Rallies by passing plates of fried potatoes and onions with gravy available.  People who do not cooperate with my programs will be open to new taxation at the end of the year.

It will be easier for the folks in Oklahoma.  I see we (OKC and Tulsa) made the List of Fattest Cities in America, so we have a head start.  However, we must still do our duty toward bringing Socialism for the poor  oops, fat.

Let’s hear it for ONETA and the FFWNLCYW!  (Please, no last name.)

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Before I do something so drastic as registering as a Democrat, I’m going to consider going head to head against President Trump and offering myself as a political option for a nominee to the Republicans.  I might share some pros and cons regarding that on another day.

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If you missed my reasons for thinking I can beat the other Democratic Nominees, you are invited to https://onetahayes.com/2019/03/20/big-question/  and  https://onetahayes.com/2019/03/21/big-question-continued/   

 

 

 

 

 

 

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BIG QUESTION – continued

Oneta 84

Dear Blogging Friends:  I don’t often post twice in one day but I feel it is imperative that I get my announcement made on Friday.  Isn’t that the big surprise day for new flashes?  So here is the second part of my political considerations.

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Harking back to my last blog there are some things I need to clarify. Then I want to go ahead and mention my competition for Democratic Presidential Nominee, acknowledge their strengths and tell you why I will probably beat them.

First off, I want to explain about the DAR notation in my high school year  book.  I explained about the “Darn Average Raiser” meaning, but I did not deny it meaning “Daughter of the American Revolution.”  I know that would not be good at all; it would probably cost me the nomination right off the bat.  I’d be grouped with those Republicans who stand for Patriotism, and be smeared with White Nationalism right off.  Now I really don’t mind being white and I am a Patriot, but somehow that is not nice in the current culture.  I said/say the pledge all the time.  And somehow I will continue to do that in fly over country.  I think they won’t care.  The coastal states probably won’t be a problem since they don’t say the pledge there very much.

Now back to strengths of Democratic Nominees and why I can probably still beat them.

Julian Castro – Got a winner of a Mexican name, but he is a man.  Sort of a rock/scissors/paper situation.  I’m woman.  Woman beats man.  But does Mexican beat woman? Hope not.

Tulsi Gabbard – strengths: her looks and religion.  Sort of tough.   I will rely on my diversity which will make me a winner.

John Hinkenlooper –  Look what he did for Colorado in spite of being a man!  But still, he is a man – and white.  But I’ve never smoked anything.  I’ll stress my love for the homeless smokers now in Denver – and reassure the ones in San Francisco also.  I’ll promise to give them safe sanctuary and to never tell them to go back home and behave themselves.

Elizabeth Warren – Easy to beat even if she is an Indian.  I haven’t checked but I at least have relatives who are – cousins on the other side of the family were almost full blood.  We are equal on the woman part.

Bernie Sanders – No competition there.  White man.  His only strength is age which sometimes equals wisdom.  But I am older than he so I’m wiser!  Would that help or hinder?  Maybe I need to rethink that.  Might not be wise to point that out.

Robert Francis O’Rourke – Man, white Irish ancestry.    I’ll make a big to-do about that.  Skateboard skills don’t count because 16 years olds can’t vote yet.

Others are named Pete, John, Jay, William, Maryann – No money and no chance to get any because of names that scream white Irish/Scottish/English.  Those names have Mayflower all over them.

Granted I have no name recognition yet, but I will as soon as I announce my platform.

Coming tomorrow.  My platform and why I will win.

Six hundred and eight words today.  Not bad considering I am writing such important stuff.  Maybe I can get it into the New York Times if I change  the word “stuff” to matters, considerations, affairs, or ….how does this sound.  “I am writing about the weightier points of political considerations.”  Yes, I like that.  It goes well with my next matters and other affairs.

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WATCH FOR MY ANNOUNCEMENT TOMORROW ON BLOG AND FACEBOOK.  BOTH FREE.  MY MONEY WON’T START ROLLING IN UNTIL AFTER MY ANNOUNCEMENT. 

Votes I can count on:  Bloggers 33, Face Book Friends 65 – not a lot but it’s a start.

 

Posted in humor, me, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 29 Comments

FIRST RESPONSE

ferriswheel

I sit and look across the lake.  Lights are beautiful.  I snap a still.  Then decide to do a video.  Beautiful as it whirls…..

What’s happening?  The ferris wheel crumples to the ground.

“Oh, Wow, what a shot! Reporters will want this for sure!”

Suddenly I’m ashamed of my first response.  I question, “What is my reason for gawking at a traffic accident, running to a fire, watching to see where the emergency vehicle is going?”

“Oh God, forgive me.  Help me to always have a first response to cry out to you for the victims of tragic accidents.”

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One hundred word fiction for Friday Fictioneers challenge by Rachelle. https://rochellewisoff.com/        PHOTO PROMPT © Dale Rogerson

 

 

 

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BIG QUESTION

Oneta 84

Big Question:  Shall I rejoin the Democrats, so I can throw my hat in the ring for the Presidential Nominee?

I was a Democrat for nigh on to forty years under the influence of my mom and the NEA.  Then I got out of public school teaching and started thinking.  That was about the time pre-born babies just became clumps of cells.  Between the two – thinking and murder – I registered Republican.

But now the Democratic party is calling for me!  I’m wondering about changing my registration (just like Bernie) and throw in my hat for president.  Granted President Trump is a formidable foe, being street smart, making better deals, lowering unemployment for everyone, raising the GPA (no, whatever that is, GPA is Grade Point Average – but I did that too when I was in school),  Back to President Trump, he is doing good with the oil industry, bringing hope to the steal industry, raising wages.. – Oh, I better get off that.

If I’m going to be a Democrat I can’t talk like that.   Surely I can find something to hate him for – Oh, Charlottesville, will do.  Maybe New Zealand? No, that’s too far fetched.  In fact all his errors except for being a tweeter seem to have been way back years ago.  By the way, what’s wrong with being a tweeter.  I’d better find out.  I had planned to learn how to do that because it doesn’t cost much and nobody owes me anything.  I wonder where AOC got her rich backings.  Might not work for me though because I’m really not young and beautiful, nor do I lack common sense.  Most rich Democratic donors will probably think I have enough qualities to not need money – once they know my diversity status.  I’ll have enough money then.

If I run, do I have a chance?  Check out the diversity considerations for Democratic Presidential Nominees.

Woman?  Got plenty.  I have to admit I rather admire Kirsten  Gillibrand – her being a blond and she is really white.

Asian?  There is one, but he is a man.  So possibly I could beat him.

Indian?  Kamala Harris.  Tamil Indian mother and a Jamaican father and a woman, beside she hated Kavanaugh.  Rather rough to beat her but she does not have my advantage.  I’m a one and only in my diversity field.

Black?  Okay, there is Booker but like the Asian, he’s a man.  So he’s weak on that front.  Beside we’ve already been burned by voting for Obama just because he was a – now how did Joe Biden describe him,  “articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.”  I never could understand why we didn’t get a glimpse of his college records.  But everybody is welcome to see mine.  Graduated magna cum laude or was it maybe magna cum loud.  Couldn’t be loud though because I didn’t say much.  Maybe I need to keep my college records under cover though because of my insignificant  college – not Harvard or Yale for sure.  …  I’ll tell the Democrats though, if I have to fill out a resume.  It was a teacher’s college in Colorado.  If I stress Colorado, and don’t tell that it was pre-California, Mexican, marijuana immigrants (mercy, it was even Republican then), it will be okay.  Hope I can get by with so many areas in the “okay” group.  President Trump makes me think I might ought to be better than “okay” in some group.  Oh, yes, I am better than others in my group – in fact, there are no others in my group – well lots of others but they are not running.

Well, Bloggers, you know I exceeded my word limit for just one blog, so I’m quitting.  I have lots more and I still need to tell you more about why I’m considering running as a Democrat.  Hope it is somewhat better than “okay” if I stop in the middle of my speech.  Which reminds me, who was that nominee who needed a teleprompter to give a very short announcement speech?  Anyway I promise my announcement speech will not be short.  I’ll come back.

Six hundred and fifty words.  Sorry, I apologize.  Apologizing makes me a worthy Democrat.  Just say I’m sorry.  Cable will run it all day then it will be dropped, now I only need to have Nancy and MSNBC tell every one what I meant to say instead of what I said.  (692 words – oh, dear, I sorry, my valedictory address from high school was only 385 words long.)  Here I am still talking.  Oh, dear, I’m sorry.  Talking about high school, my year book will pass muster. However some one did call me a DAR.  You, my fellow Democrats, don’t know what that means.   Well the Republicans will.  It means Darn Average Raiser.  (Oh, dear, 750 words)  Bye.  (751)

Probably be back another day, depending on what you all do to me.  😀

Posted in humor, me, politics, Uncategorized | Tagged , , | 44 Comments

LIFE IN A BLACK HOLE?

tumble

Taking a tumble?

In this life you’ll have trouble,

Life’s no easy ride.

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It’s a bummer but it’s often true.  Be thankful for the good and hang on to John 16:33  😀

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Written for Ronovan’ haiku challenge.  Use words “easy” and “ride”

https://ronovanwrites.com/2019/03/18/ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-245-easyride/

Image:  Thanks to Pixabay

Posted in haiku, Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 14 Comments

SPRINGTIME IS COMING!

boy climbing tree

Dreaming big as he

Inches his way to his goal:

     the tree’s mystery.

Years move inch by inch

Foot by foot, or yard by yard.

You have un-reached goals.

You’re climbing higher,

But you overcome the storms.

Keep Springtime in mind.

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Image: pexels free

March 15th writing prompt by M.  – Springtime Splendor

https://puttingmyfeetinthedirt.com/2019/03/01/march-writing-prompts-2/

Posted in eternal life, haiku, M's Writing Prompt, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

BUILDINGS AND PEOPLE GET OLD

piano planter

NOTE:  I question whether this is in poor taste.   I am not being cynical, making light of a problem, nor being humorous.   I am exaggerating, but I am recognizing that this kind of problem exists.  We need more medical research going into this problem rather than the money doled out to illnesses that can be helped or avoided by life changes.  And God give us compassion for the caretakers involved.  I have family and friends who have had to (and are presently having to) care for the people they love and I never cease to be amazed how much compassion they exhibit under extreme pressure.  Sorry for the long introduction to this situation.

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Look carefully.  Can you see that picture of me on the wall?  That was when I had a thriving piano business.  The old place is all gutted out now.

Mother helped many years.  When she was 76 she decided to learn to play piano – there were plenty for practice! The years took their toll.  Dementia attacked suddenly.  I found her with a hammer as she set about making a planter out of one.  I placed her in a rest home.   (phone rings)   Hold on a bit while I answer the phone……

 The nurse caught mother with a hammer again.

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Written for Friday Fictioneers by Rochelle  https://rochellewisoff.com/

PHOTO PROMPT © Anshu Bhojnagarwala

 

 

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BE GLAD IN HIS SALVATION

Oneta 84

Meditation from my study in the Book of Isaiah.

After a series of curses and railings against nations who do not trust in God (Chapters 13-24), I am so relieved to run onto Chapter 25, a praise to God which includes the well- known promise of his someday wiping away all our tears. And I especially like verse 9, “In that day they will say, Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. This is the Lord, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation.”

This morning – being glad in his salvation – I recall a song: “Glory I’m saved! Glory, I’m saved! My sins are all pardoned, my guilt is all gone! Glory, I’m saved! Glory, I’m saved! I’m saved by the blood of the Crucified One!”

I have no idea where or when I learned that song, but I am amazed that I am thinking of it 110 years after it was written by S. J. Henderson, a rather obscure person in 1902. I can’t find anything about him online except that he seems to have written three songs.   

Bloggers, that shows the power our words could have on someone a hundred years from now.

 

  1. Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
    Now ransomed from sin and a new work begun,
    Sing praise to the Father and praise to the Son,
    Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!

    • Refrain:
      Glory, I’m saved! Glory, I’m saved!
      My sins are all pardoned, my guilt is all gone!
      Glory, I’m saved! Glory, I’m saved!
      I’m saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
  2. Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
    The angels rejoicing because it is done;
    A child of the Father, joint-heir with the Son,
    Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
  3. Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
    The Father He spake, and His will it was done;
    Great price of my pardon, His own precious Son;
    Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
  4. Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
    All hail to the Father, all hail to the Son,
    All hail to the Spirit, the great Three in One!
    Saved by the blood of the Crucified One!
Posted in Christianity, salvation, Uncategorized | Tagged , | 27 Comments

Forever’s Tomorrows

peaceful

Gentle peace bids come

Sound of breeze rustles through trees

slight motion of leaves.

 

There we are welcomed

To Forever’s Tomorrows

Fears and tears are gone.

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Ronovan’s challenge: Haiku using “sound” and “motion”

ronovanwrites-weekly-haiku-poetry-prompt-challenge-244-soundmotion/

Image:  Pixabay

 

 

Posted in death, eternal life, haiku, Ronovan Writes Haiku Challenge, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 17 Comments

SADIE CHOOSES POTSY

poodle

Sadie was downcast at the attitude displayed by her friend, Elsie.  Elsie had assured Sadie that Jake was husband material.  She did all but tie a Cupid’s Bow around his neck.  Sadie was stringent in refusing Elsie’s melodramatic, nearly bare-faced order to consider her counsel.  Thus the silent treatment as Elsie harbored her grudge.

A bit of background is necessary here.  You see last week Sadie had accepted Jake’s offer to come visit her and bring along something from the deli.  Sadie had waited in anticipation at the windowsill, but what she had seen left her crestfallen.

As Jake entered the gate, he appeared to get upset with Potsy, her beloved Poddle.  For a bit she thought he was going to slap or pummel Potsy.    It is true that Potsy took a linear run at Jake and seemed to threaten his ankle.  Maybe a bit of anxiety would have been proper, but never the glimpse of hostility she had seen in him!  Why if a man didn’t like Potsy….!

But Elsie would not pay any attention to Sadie’s reason.  Elsie thought Jake was a good catch even at the expense of her poor, pretty poodle, Potsy!  So silly.

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Image:  Pixabay

Thanks mindlovemiserysmenagerie for the Wordle Challenge:  Use at least ten of the following words in a story.  Slap, catch, pummel, linear, melodramatic, stringent, harbor, bare-faced, Cupid’s Bow, windowsill, crestfallen, silent treatment.

I used twelve. Linear, however, is a bit fakey. 😀

 

 

 

 

Posted in humor, Mindlovemisery's Menagerie and Wordle, Uncategorized, wordle | Tagged , , | 6 Comments