“It’s just not fair, Frank.”  Hearing the these words very plainly, I glanced up from the lettuce bin to see who spoke.   There was only one other person in the produce aisle – an average looking lady with dark brown hair sprinkled with gray.  Her face was marred by sorrow and her eyes were distraught, but no further words were spoken.  I gave no acknowledgement that I had heard and went on about my grocery shopping.  This happened more than twenty years ago.  I recalled the incident a few days ago when I heard a group on television mocking some old out-dated laws.  Some were funny, but in the mix they laughed about “even adultery” having once been against the law.  The words again came to me, “It’s just not fair, Frank.” 

Admittedly I do not know that Frank was an adulterer.  But throughout three decades of married life for me and my peers, I have witnessed the pain and despair caused by divorce, often because of infidelity.  Has it become a common lark to the below forty generation?  Is it just a hiccup in the  smooth flow of life?

According to Susan Krauss Whitbourne (Huffington Post), “Approximately 1 in 4 divorces in 2010 occurred among the 50 and older; in 1990 the radio was 1 out of every 10.”  Broken promises, broken hearts, broken people, but no longer a (ha ha) broken law.  I still hear the echo, “It’s just not fair, Frank.”

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
This entry was posted in divorce and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to HA, HA! EVEN ADULTERY

  1. dawnlizjones says:

    Oneta, I so appreciate your take on marriage. We just had our 36th, a spit in the bucket compared with you two. God bless you for speaking Truth.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Dawn, thank you for reading and then going the extra mile, giving encouragement. Be blessed with long life, love, and marriage. Hasn’t always been easy but it has been blessed. Neither is life easy, but it can be blessed! I’ve been reading Peter’s book in the Bible – contains some of the benefits of suffering. Now why would I mess up my tribute to marriage by bringing in the topic of suffering! Just joking a bit!

  2. shoreacres says:

    When I first heard about the Ashley Madison website, I was astonished that (1) someone would consider creating such a business, and (2) that people actually would make use of it. Well, the chickens are coming home to roost with that one, but it’s only a symptom, rather than a cause. We live in a society that seems intent on devaluing human life and human relationships. The thought seems to be that anything or anyone who interferes with our right to be self-obsessed should be disposed of: hence, the divorce rate.

    Divorce is so common and so easy now, many think it doesn’t affect those involved. Quite the contrary.

  3. oneta hayes says:

    Yes, I just brushed off the Ashley Madison news this week. I’m surprised at how calloused I have become to such wounds that can come from such exposure. We sort of think if John gets caught, he should have to pay the consequences, forgetting that for every John there is also a Jane and Jill, perhaps a Harry and Henry, who knows? Maybe soon, everyone knows, except for a giant blackmailing scheme that will take time to flush out. “Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive.”. (Walter Scott) Thanks, for reading and as always, adding spice to my meat. Or, maybe sometimes, you add the meat to my spice! Whichever way, I appreciate it.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s