I’M GLAD I DID NOT DIE

wigflip-ds (2)

completion of quote above – “indescribable peace – Angels.”
————-

(This is a third post about death following “Rumor or Truth” and “Death Happens.”)

In order to understand the circumstances that led me to the event I am about to tell you, you should read the page called, “Why Me, Lord.”  It can be found at why me If you read that, you will see that there was little chance of me surviving on that Saturday evening except for the Lord’s intervention.  Take notice of the fact that the attack happened about 4:30 or 5:00 and I did not get to the operating room until  11:30 I  believe that was in answer to prayer.  Notice that I gave no information about what was happening to me while I was in surgery.  Now is the time I will try to give some details—most of which I have told few people, some I have told no one.  Some scenes agree with others who tell of near-death experience.  Some do not.  I do not recall any chronological order to these scenes.

  1. There was a tunnel; however, I had gone through a tunnel on the way up the mountain, so it is possible that scene could have been planted in my head.  It also could have other significance.
  2. At the entrance to the tunnel was a mountain of rocky cliffs.  A hand like Jesus’ hand was reaching down.
  3. There was A sense that I was being dragged back and forth horizontally through a hoop.  I felt like a balloon pulled back and forth through the hoop.  I believe that was caused by my doctors working at keeping me alive.  Sort of like they were about to lose me, then they would bring me back.  I was greatly troubled over that for many days.
  4. I could hear someone speaking a foreign language.  I identified with it being spoken by a missionary.  At this point I believe, some one was interceding for me.  Either a foreign language speaker whom I probably do not know but through whom the Holy Spirit was working.  Or, maybe more likely an English speaker who was praying for me in another language such as that referred to as a “gift of the Spirit.”  I do have family and friends who would allow the Holy Spirit to direct them in this way.
  5. I believed that I heard Carl, my son, consoling members of my family by saying that they must remember that I had reached my goal by going to heaven.  This was happening in a different room from where I was.  Carl says he does not remember doing this although he was there praying with family.  So I can’t explain why it seemed to me that he was consoling them as if I had died. Maybe to comfort my mind about my family?
  6. I did see people I recognized who have already passed into heaven.  I saw them in black and white as silhouettes would appear behind a screen; it was like they were around  the corner behind a partial wall in an adjoining room.  I don’t remember who they were but at that time I recognized all except a young girl who I was guess was about 12 or 13 years old.  The fact that I did not recognize her makes me believe even more that this was an actual occurrence.  I can understand why I might place certain people in heaven waiting for me, but I cannot believe I would have imagined a young girl whom I did not know.
  1. There were two figures in the room with me which I recognized as angels.  They were vastly different.  One was the figure of a man dressed in bronze and gold somewhat like a Roman soldier, but he wore a helmet that looked like an English policeman would wear.  I can’t visualize the helmet now; that’s as close as I can come to describing it.  He was standing in the right-hand corner of the operating room at the wall behind me.  The other figure was at the wall directly behind my head; it was a dull light similar to a solar light that might be in a garden.  I recognized it as another angel.  Doesn’t make sense, does it?  If I had been making this up, hallucinating, dreaming, or whatever, wouldn’t you think I would have seen two angels that were similar?   I believe one of those angels was there to take me to heaven if I died; I think the other might have been more of a protecting angel.  I don’t know.
  2. Now for another image.  There was a man in a brown business suit who walked through the room.  Of all these images that one seems the strangest.  It would be easy to say I believe he was a third angel, but that wouldn’t be true.  Who was he and why was he there?

There were some other images but I think they happened after I was moved into a room.  I was convinced at one point that a nurse was trying to poison me—some nurse probably trying to get me to take medicine.  I saw faces as though I was looking through a book, a picture on each page.  One page had two faces on it.  I believe those were nurses who were assigned to me after I was out of surgery.

I cannot claim this experience was peaceful.  There were comforting moments or images but I was greatly conflicted by the pulling back and forth through the loop.  It seemed like if I couldn’t safely stay on the first side, I wouldn’t be “me” anymore.  That probably doesn’t make sense.  At this time I marvel that for those many hours I had enough oxygen to my brain to come out still being “me.”  Maybe that conflict came about by things I could hear the doctors say.  Perhaps I knew they were have a difficult time keeping me here.

I’m glad I did not die.  After the intense pain at the moment of the attack, I felt no pain and had complete peace.  Folks were praying all around me. I believe that is the reason I am alive and still have a functioning brain! But if I had died, I don’t believe death itself would have been painful or fearful.  ———-

DIAGNOSIS FROM MEDICAL RECORDS  Dr. Dimitri Kaufman (lung doctor) has written “Pulmonary edema, due to acute aortic dissection.” Dr. Walker, the heart surgeon, did say it was a near impossibility that I made it to the hospital alive and twice that that I got out of the operation alive. His diagnosis was “Type 1 aortic valvular dissection, severe aortic valvular insufficiency, and acute heart failure.”

 

 

 

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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22 Responses to I’M GLAD I DID NOT DIE

  1. theturtle says:

    Wow! And I won’t say more , at least not right now .

  2. Faye says:

    This is indeed a wonderful sharing story of God’s Grace in a near-death experience. ( From New Orleans a wonderful Christian Leader Glennis Flemming (I think that’s her name) had her heart removed, massaged and returned to her body. What happened to her and the Muslim doctor who was called in to save her life is the stuff of miracles. You may be able to access this story easier from where you live. It’s a medically confirmed story and the Doctor’s life was so dramatically changed as well). I treasure your sharing of your story. Thank you sincerely. xx F.It’s fantastic in its true portrayal of the circumstances.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, Faye. You reference sounds wonderful. Hopefully I can follow through on it. I don’t know how it is that I felt so timid about telling what happened. There is nothing about it that doesn’t line up with the Word of God. But, maybe I just needed time to digest it myself. No, I think I just wanted to be sure it does not come off as something special about me. All glory is to God. Me? Maybe he did it for me; the reason he does things for Israel. Because I so insignificant – small and absolutely without influence except as he uses me. Am I saying what I want to?

  3. dawnlizjones says:

    Oneta, thank you so very much for sharing such a deeply intimate account that precious few have survived to relate! If/when you are so inclined, I would love to hear anything the Lord may have taught you about any of these impressions or experiences. Amazing, but so very glad He kept you around for all of us fortunate ones!

    • oneta hayes says:

      Dawn, yes I have learned, my faith is stronger by being denied what I believed whole-heartedly (that is, that instantaneous divine healing is always God’s preference for us.) It was not that I thought going to doctors was wrong, but I thought it “snubbed” God to choose that route over trusting him only. He had healed me so many times, I fully believed he would do it again without going the medical route. and after all was said and done, he amazingly healed me instantly from another situation last year. It was delightfully funny! He shut my mouth and let me know I shouldn’t tell and in the process, he said, “I’m still your healer.” All the doubts were swept away, and I have learned to submit to what he wants whatever that may be. And I learned that he still has a ministry for me; I am so thankful for this blogging sphere and I am teaching a SS class again. In the process I have given up a church I dearly loved because I believed I had made that church my idol. Strange that one can make an idol out of her church, but I had. I went back to square one and started over again. The idea of starting over at eighty-one was rather terrifying. “After all,” I worried, “if I start over, I won’t even have a home church or pastor for my funeral!” I think it would be surprising to know how many people have made an idol out of their church – that’s true of both big churches and little churches. Well, maybe I’ll blog about that someday!

      • dawnlizjones says:

        Dear yes! You just made a multitude of very important points! I, for one, would benefit from you expounding on these thoughts. Just an encouragement.

      • SarahC says:

        that would be interesting, blog on church 😀 …….i accepted where Mr wants to go, though it is small, old fashioned etc, gave up where my friend had taken me modern, upbeat, lots of people and my friend. sometimes we have to go for Others i meet the most awesome at the little church now, and the big one is always there to call on too. Not going at all just wasn’t working for us and the Mr took charge this time 😀

        • oneta hayes says:

          I’m glad it has worked for you. My situation was similar. My big church for seventeen years had everything the eye can see and the marketers could sell. I had many issues with it but wanted to be there because I was sentimental and also quite proud to claim them. That’s when I realized I was making an idol of my church. I go to a little church with lovely people and sound doctrine. It is growing (albeit slowly) which is good, and the growth is not due to its abundance of money, influence, and bribery. It is nice to be off the fast track, but I love and miss them. I still attend some of their midweek small group functions. They make me welcome and know I left because of no ill will to anyone. I needed to sit quietly sometimes and just breath in the goodness of Jesus.

          • oneta hayes says:

            Sarah, my conscience is bothering me. I should not have charged the big churches with bribery. That word is too strong and that is not the intention of the large churches. It just seems to me to have the same result.

  4. luckyjc007 says:

    Thank you for sharing this….I’m sure there are many that can relate to this.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Considering that I waited two and a half years before I could get down to the nitty-gritty of what happened, you are probably right. It seems such an intimate act. Also there is fear of people thinking you have gone a little loony! 😀 And it takes a lot of discernment to be sure what you say is sound according to the Bible. If there is any thing wrong, it is with me, not with the Bible.

  5. Mysticalwriter says:

    Thank you for sharing

    • oneta hayes says:

      You are kind to comment. I especially hoped for some feedback from some of my blogging friends on this issue. It is like showing someone a very special jewel and then wondering if they believe it was authentic or if they thought it was costume jewelry. 😀

  6. shoreacres says:

    Believe me — we’re glad you didn’t die. Or, if you did, that you came back. There’s no question that things beyond human comprehension happen. Years after one of my best friends died, we had quite a conversation in a dream, one that brought some real closure. That’s a blog-post-in-waiting, too.

    I confess I laughed at your comment about making a congregation an idol. That’s a pretty common phenomenon, actually, and kudos to you for starting over. One of my favorite songs in the world includes the line, “Every stop is a place to start.” Isn’t that just the truth?

    • oneta hayes says:

      I have heard similar thought “every ending is a new beginning.” I anxiously await your encounter with your friend. That brings back a memory of my grandma and daddy. I will blog it soon. You are great at expanding my vision. Thanks.

  7. judyjourneys says:

    Thank you, Oneta, for having the courage to share this. Sometimes I think that instead of asking “Why me?”, the question should be “Why not me?” I don’t mean this in an egotistical way but in the attitude of being God’s servant.

  8. degus221 says:

    Well, Oneta, I’m glad as well. I would miss the companionship in your shared thoughts, and I think there is more you have to say that will bring solace or understanding to someone. Hang in there.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Degus221, thanks for your comment. I noticed you were back with a poem today. Miss you when you’re gone. When I look back on my title “Glad I Did Not Die” I feel a bit funny that I used that title. It seems so obvious, but it was an affirmation of what most of take for granted. I’m sticking around – and you? Keep the reminders of a more simple time, a good life, A people-time as opposed to the fast lane of “gotta have this.” You understand me, don’t you?

  9. Again, very emotional here. God brought you back for a reason, His mercies are NEW every morning. this made me, think of my mama, who passed on to glory May 21, 2015. Probably some of my motivation to blog. I am a daddy’s girl, and he’s still alive (almost 84), but I was able to love and serve and be by my mama’s side for the last few weeks of her life…I am forever so grateful. I miss her so much. My daddy and I were by her side. I often wonder if she was conscience or aware of what was going on as she was slipping from us. I prayed for angels to fill her room and I sang over her in her ‘good’ ear. Peace, Peace Wonderful Peace, coming down from the Father above, sweep over my spirit forever I pray, in fathomless billows of love. I will be praying for you…Oneta. You are from the south I believe, Oklahoma? My mama’s name was Nonalu, her sister Marylou my daddy has sisters: Pluma and Oleta, I was supposed to meet you here…love, Karen

  10. oneta hayes says:

    Thanks again, Karen. I left a long comment again on “Why Me?” so making this short. Yes, Oklahoma mostly since 1952. I share some of the “momma” moments as my mother passed also, in 1994. I had stayed the night so went home (to her house) and missed her last moments. They were amazing according to family who were with her. (I have an awful time making a short comment, don’t I?) 😀

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