Does that mean they don’t have a cultured side?

Does that mean they don’t have a “feminine” side – they can’t be emotional, loving, tender, caring, forgiving, unselfish, patient, give themselves to the service of others?

Perhaps they – men – are the transition between God and women in all these ways. Perhaps women are loving, tender, caring, forgiving, unselfish, patient, give themselves to the service of others because they were created from the rib of man.  Perhaps all those characteristics come first in the emotions of man.  But man has had to delegate those “softer” attributes in order to have time for the macho role – power, like that which is needed to push my car out of the highway when my motor quits – authority, like that which is needed to command that the switch be pulled on the death row inmate – determination, like that which is demanded when the farmer has to plant his crop for the fourth time because it was washed out again – violence, like that which makes him pull the trigger in behalf of his country – persistence, like that which is required to sit at the microscope for hours looking for a cure for cancer.

My memories of some special men:

Richard “teared up” during his speech at his mention of a little girl singing in the tire store.   His love for his daughter showed through.  Blessed children, blessed father.  I’ve had friends who said they had a hard time learning to love God,“The Heavenly Father,” because their own fathers were so abusive.  How sad!  I learned so easily to love my Heavenly Father – thanks to you, Daddy.

My friend, Woody, died  on the same week President Raegan died.  At the funeral the preacher made this statement:   “America lost two great men this week.  One was great because he was the kind of man who made a great president; the other was the kind of man who made a great citizen.”  Thanks to the common good citizens, as well as the uncommon good presidents.

My car died on the road one evening.  While waiting for my husband to rescue me, several other cars stopped to see if I needed help.  Good men with good hearts.  I didn’t need them because my knight in shining armor was on his way to rescue this damsel in distress.

Brave and honorable men are still there – there in war zones, fighting urban warfare with single shot guns in response to a spray of bullets.  They have guns which would mow out the whole crowd, but they choose to be very specific about their aim; they don’t want to injury civilians.  U. S. volunteer soldiers.  My defenders!

My son, Carl, had a job which is a source of such joy and sorrow, a hospice caplain.  Sometimes he had two or three funerals in a row.  A lot of sorrow for those he learned to love.  But what joy when as he says he “snatches souls from the jaws of hell.”

Tom goofed.  He had an acquaintance who is in the hospital so he went over to mow the fellow’s yard.  Got the mower out.  Groomed the front lawn, started on the back yard, back and forth a few times.  Uck-oo!.  He was in the wrong yard.  But he couldn’t just walk out and leave an unfinished yard.  After finishing it, he went next door – sure enough that was the right one, front and back all over again.

My salute to the youth leaders who solve problems by giving more attention – more hours, increased work.  Pay is the same.  Thanks to you, Jim. Wherever you are.  You helped me raise fine sons.

Jerry took a job at Walmart.  He will be greeting people by the entrance.  He hasn’t been retired long.  He said it was nice to have free time to do whatever, but the missus could really use some little extras; he doesn’t want to get into their savings.  He wants to leave that for the kids.

I think of faithful men like my father in law  After about seven years with a wife with  Alzheimer’s he stood behind her chair, hands on her shoulders and said, “This is my love, the wife of my youth.”

And there is the modern dad.   I was waiting outside the classroom, when I saw a man come out the door with a boy about five years old.  The man said, “Wow, let me see,” as he knelt on one knee to look over the papers in the child’s hand.  What a dad!

I heard a funny joke.  This family had a hamster named Danny, kids wouldn’t take care of it, so mom decided to get rid of it.  She told the kids she was going to give Danny away.  One said, “Well, we’ve had him a long time, so it’s ok with me.”  The other was somewhat hesitant, he said, “He really does eat a lot and he is very messy, but I like him, maybe we should keep him.”  Mom wouldn’t relent however.  She said, “Go to your room and get the cage and food, it is time to take Danny to his new home.”  Suddenly, tearful, outraged children shouted, “Danny?  We thought you said Daddy!”  Oh, men, how you have been made the brunt of jokes. You even laugh about it! Humorous, good-natured!

So, back to the question, Do real men eat quiche?  Well, most of these don’t but would if it were made by an eight-year-old daughter – a burnt offering, love sacrifice – they would!

Men! Faithful, loyal, patient, protective, supportive, humorous and good-natured.  The aberrations among the male gender do not change my image – the image built in me by the real men like those in my life.



About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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  1. dawnlizjones says:

    I would really like to reblog this on Father’s Day (Sunday, June 19th) if I may? Love it!

  2. oneta hayes says:

    Of course. I’d love for you to do that. I have a similar but different one for Father’s Day. I’m at the library now because of an ill computer. I think I will have it back soon. But I hampered! This computer is flashing that I have seven more minutes then I’m off. Glad to catch you first.

  3. Salvageable says:

    That was the title of a book–I think sometime around 1985! Of course it was never true. I am particularly fond of a spinach-and-bacon quiche which gets made around here once in a while. Thank you for writing a fine tribute to good men. I hope each of them knows how much you appreciate them. J.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you. I appreciate your comment. Unfortunately I’m not much of a cook. My family have not had a chance for quiche.. nope anything else demanding a crust!

  4. judyjourneys says:

    What a wonderful tribute to men, Oneta!

  5. calensariel says:

    Lovely post, Oneta.

  6. shoreacres says:

    I laughed and laughed at the story of Tom. Once upon a time, i knew someone who began stripping the varnish of a teak rail on a boat, and was halfway done before he realized it was the wrong boat. These things happen. 🙂

    i love the hamster story, too. That’s a good one, and i’d not heard it. A fun post, for sure.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Tom said he knew his friend had a terrace in his yard so after mowing a while he began thinking he should be coming to a terrace. Then he realized he was in the wrong yard. Sounds like the yard was pretty much overgrown. Probably not easy! Glad you liked the Danny story. I don’t know where I heard it. Thanks. Your post this week made me stir myself to some action. I had a venture because of it. Not big, but rewarding.

  7. Faye says:

    Thank you for this tribute to men. I agree wholeheartedly. Take the example of Jesus Himself – He is the epitome of what man should be ….gentle, powerful, protective, loving. My own father was physically a very big man yet I saw how incredibly gentle he was when our cat hurt his foot. Forced to fight in war, he witnessed suffering and dying yet this big, big man was as gentle as a dove with the less strong. He probably would have said…..I prefer a good bit of steak to a quiche but he could still sit down and eat a cucumber sandwich if HE HAD TO. Enjoy your week. Again thank you for post.

  8. pamkirst2014 says:

    Love ALL of these stories–thank you for sharing!

  9. A beautiful tribute to real men who are not afraid of baring their true selves.

  10. Pingback: Featured Posts # 65…Share your posts | a cooking pot and twistedtales

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you , Jacque. Between a sick computer and a lovely four day visit by a precious great granddaughter, I am much begin with my thanks. As always I am most appreciative of you spreading my words. Much admiration sent to you.

  11. Anand says:

    Thank you Oneta. Your post is unique and beautiful. I’ve suddenly risen in my own esteem – I might have my own redeeming feature…wifey and Mom just need some patience.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Anand, it would be easy to find a space for you. How’s this: Thanks to the men who have been buffers between mother and daughter-in-laws. Those men responsible for many a saved marriage,, and hide many a bruised ankle behind bell bottom trousers.

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