Being “not pretty” is not the same thing as being homely.  I have always seen myself as not pretty but I never tagged myself with homely.  I have a great empathy for homely people.  I’m not sure when peer pressure starts against homely children but it is very evident before the end of primary grades.  You will seldom, if ever, find one in the social cliques even by third grade.  I question why I say that, because my making that judgement indicates that I, myself, made a radical conclusion based on the cultures’ standard of beautiful and ugly.  That’s not just!

I have jokingly said, “I want to lose weight before I get to Heaven.  I don’t want to spend eternity being overweight!”  But, alas, if I go to Heaven successfully svelte, I will probably find that the perfect female form was that of the great painters in the renaissance era!

Back to the behavior of children toward each other.  I think their awareness of how another looks, beautiful or ugly, is likely set by the entertainment industry which presents to us what people “should” look like.  It is amazing how much alike most “beauties” are!  If you have a need to find a particular thin, long-haired blonde beauty who is at South Padre Island, good lock finding her.   Bikini clad, they look alike.  Not many homely, or even not pretty,  are seen in that locale.

(Submitted to the Streams of Consciousness challenge)


About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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11 Responses to HOMELY VS NOT PRETTY

  1. Salvageable says:

    This topic reminds me of the “ugly duckling” in my grade through elementary school, junior high, and high school. At first she was chubby with short hair and glasses. The summer between seventh and eighth grade, though, somehow her hair grew out and became wavy, her glasses were replaced with contact lenses, and her chubby body became quite shapely. Quite a surprise to all the boys and all the girls, I assure you. In high school she was a cheerleader and a popular girl, but I don’t think she ever lost her touch with the reality of how mean people can be to others with so little reason. She remained a kind person. J.

    • oneta hayes says:

      You have a given a wonderful account of the tragedy of planting in children’s minds that they are not beautiful. The old adage that beauty is only skin deep is not heard much anymore. It sure came from my grandmother’s generation! And then there was also, “Beauty is as beauty does.”

  2. Faye says:

    Thank you for post. Yes I too remember the ‘pretty people’ I also remember with gratitude the ones whose real beauty came from inside. May this be the yardstick today as we encourage others ugliness inside ie greed, averice, hatred, bitter recollections only simmer and boil. If love, joy , peace, patience and tolerance come forth it will reflect on the face. I know this personally. Was regarded by the ‘pretty’ as very ordinary. Now I’m told my many there is a facial ‘serenity’ now that defies concepts of beauty or otherwise. Only God! can and does do it!.

  3. JoAnna says:

    Magazines and movies. It’s all their fault. I never buy tabloids. Almost never, because it’s so fun to look at the “Stars without make up.” They look like regular people!

  4. shoreacres says:

    I can’t remember the last time I heard or read the word “homely.” I was curious what its dictionary definition might be, and I was completely surprised to find a second, quite different meaning in British English. For them, “homely” equates to “simple but cozy and comfortable, as in one’s own home.” That may well be the root of our expression “comfortable in his/her own skin,” and in that sense, I’d be more than happy to be homely!

  5. I never really understood the difference between homely and not pretty and ugly. We all want to be seen as beautiful and admired; for a long time that was not how I felt about myself. Now, even though I have a man that loves me and friends that affirm me, I still struggle with this insecurity today. My parents were always loving and kind but my peers were standoffish and mean. I could never please them until I started to not care about what they thought. At that point, I started attracting friends…but the sting of being outside the popular crowd dug at me. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. Our childhood has a dramatic effect on our adulthood. I survived those horrible years but a lot of kids today will not. Bullying is more vicious and kids are more sensitive and suicidal today. We need to teach them a better way.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Sadly you are so right, Rebecca. So much attention is given to the “outer” man. That may be one reason knowing God is so comforting – he made us, he loves us just as we are. And he sees us as beautiful. One good thing about blogging – we don’t judge on how one looks!

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