Short story, skit style today.  Hope it’s fun for you; it was fun for me.  

Two characters:  Pam and God.

Pam:    Enters room alone, muttering to self.  “Where or where am I going to get money for my school books.”

God:    Are you talking to me?  I don’t see anyone else around.

Pam stutters,   “Uh, Uh, oh, yes, I guess so.”

 I’m glad to listen.  Tell me about it.

Well, I have to have two books for my summer class.

You had $130 from birthday gifts.  What happened to that?

But that money was just for me – you know – just presents for me.  I bought new jeans.  I know you expect me to look nice.  That is a promise.  You clothe the lilies of the field.  So I know you don’t mind if I buy new jeans.

Oh, I’m happy for you to look nice.  You look nice in the dress your mom bought, too.  And the one your grandmother bought, the one from your summer job, and the three outfits your friend gave you because she couldn’t wear them anymore. In fact, all thirty-four of your outfits look good on you.  But back to the money. Those jeans cost $68 so you must have $62 left.  Can’t you buy books for that?

No, I bought tapes for my new stereo.  They were $6 each.  I bought two gospel tapes.  They are a real blessing.  They make me feel real spiritual and everything.

Yes, those tapes are uplifting.  How about the third one you bought.  Wasn’t it $8?  I haven’t heard it around here.

I haven’t played it.

Why did you buy it?

It was just that I didn’t know how to get out of the spot I was in.  I was down at the music store just sort of looking around when some cute guys came in and started talking to me.  They were going on about how good that tape was and I thought they would be offended if I didn’t buy it.

So you were just being thoughtful of their feelings, huh?

Yes, but I haven’t played it because I didn’t think you would like it much.

Well, let’s see.  You have about $42 dollars left, is that right? Won’t that buy two books if you get used ones.

Yeah, that’s about what used ones cost, but I don’t have $42. I took Jill and Karen out for pizza because it was Karen’s birthday.

Pizza for three.  That wouldn’t be so much.

I also had to buy gas.

Thirteen for pizza and ten for gas?

And six for a parking ticket.  I parked in a handicapped space.

That’s using the money pretty fast all right.  That leaves $13.  Would that buy one used book?  Oh, no, that $13 was your tithes, wasn’t it?  Looks like you need some more money.  I’ll get right on it and see what I can do for you.

God….

Yes?

God….

Yes?

I didn’t pay my tithes.  That $13 went for a second pizza.  Those cute guys at the music store came into the pizza parlor.  They were hungry and …..