nameless REVISITED

After I posted “Mum No Longer” I posted “nameless.”  A personal experience regarding a situation in which many people would recommend an abortion.  I am adamantly against abortion.

So how would I deal with “nameless” if she were my child or my grandchild?  I have been wrestling with that question.  A few nights ago I had a thought.  It was, “The situation has nothing to do with “choice” Nameless is a child!  This is a medical issue.”

I don’t know what the chances are that a 10 year old could live and give birth to a baby. But that would be a key issue.  If it seems that one or the other would die.  I would say to abort the baby, let mother live.  As a general rule I would always choose the mother of any age to live.  I would choose a live mother without child over a live child without mother.  I know mothers who would not agree with me; I believe fathers would agree with me.

So let’s say I can’t get out of it that easily.  The chances are good that both the mother and baby will live.  Then, God be merciful, I would say to abort the baby.  Yes, I cannot see myself as being determined that I would not do that.  Just as I do not believe in murder, but if I had a gun in hand and saw the act that resulted in that pregnancy, I would shoot that monster without a thought, being fully aware that two wrongs would not make a right.

What else would I do if I legally could?  I would take that precious sacrifice – sacrificed because it turned out to be the lesser of two evils, and I would at least give it a burial befitting my kid’s pet goldfish!  I would take “nameless” and her baby to the nicest place I could find”out in the wilds.”  We would sing Jesus Loves the Little Children, read the scripture in which Jesus said bring the little children to him, tell it how wonderfully precious it is but it was the sacrifice made due to a greater evil, and bury it in a small cedar box given to me by my grandmother.  I would love on “nameless” and tell her what a marvel she is, that she did nothing wrong.  Jesus has already made arrangements to keep her child in heaven until she gets there.  And for now she has a lot of growing and living to do.

If that is not legally possible, perhaps we could do a mock funeral that might help some, but the question for “nameless” will still be, “What happened to my baby?”

So now that I have admitted I would make an exception for my own, how does that fit with my “no abortion” stance?  Why am I strongly against the “woman’s right to choose?”  How am I any different than any other “choice” woman?

Don’t judge me harshly.  I’ve already done that.  In fact I not only think I’m guilty of murder, but I’m guilty of an even more heinous crime against God, a crime that forms the basis of all the sins I commit that make me cry out, “Oh, Jesus, forgive me.”


I have cried over posting this, least anyone would use it to support the “abortion” cause.  I think of James 3:1 that says “you who teach will be judged more strictly…”  I have dwelt on James 1:5 that says we are to seek wisdom from the Lord – that I have done.  Even this morning again I lay my head upon my desk and cry, “Oh, Lord, will this do more harm than good?”  I can only hear Him say “Post it.  My strength is in your weakness.”  Thank you, Jesus.  Thank you for telling me that.

Do me the favor of reading relevant posts coming.


About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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15 Responses to nameless REVISITED

  1. I appreciate this post in so many ways. I can feel your struggle, and yet you had the courage to post what you felt He wanted you to post. I can feel your struggle to do the right thing, yet not be a stumbling block to others.

  2. Salvageable says:

    I wish I could reach out through the computer to give you a big hug. Your post is very brave and very thoughtful, as well as thought-provoking. I cannot say what I would do in the same situation, although I am very much opposed to abortion in nearly every case imaginable. I have more experience dealing with people making decisions about end-of-life issues. In those cases, I have urged them to get the best advice from the doctors involved about the outlook, and then consider four questions. If you chose to fight to preserve this life, and then later you believed you made the wrong choice, would God forgive you? (The answer, of course, is yes.) Would you be able to forgive yourself? If you chose to allow this life to end peacefully without a fight, and later you believed you made the wrong choice, would God forgive you? (The answer, of course, is yes.) Would you be able to forgive yourself? Leaning on God’s mercy and grace while facing these tough decisions always helps. J.

  3. mandibelle16 says:

    Wow Oneta, that is one awful situation to decide over. I agree keep the mother alive, she gets precedence. This is such a tough one – babies having babies :(.

  4. shoreacres says:

    Increasingly, I see that several situations are related: abortion, capital punishment, suicide, euthanasia and other end of life decisions. Logically, if we oppose the taking of life in one situation, how can we support it in another? I was the one who made the decision to end the measures being taken to keep my mother alive. They certainly weren’t “extreme” measures, but the question of what love required was a complicated one.

    I never felt guilty about my decisions, and honestly? I can see how a decision for abortion could be made without feelings of guilt. On the other hand, decisions about life or death that are made out of a desire for our own convenience are more problematic, and there’s a lot of “me, me, me” going around.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Linda, you are stirring up the “hot” topics for sure. I do have definite viewpoints about most of them. I think there is a great deal of difference between capital punishment and abortion. End of life when “life” is over would be awfully hard to call for someone you are responsible for. Fortunately my mother made it clear to the doctors what she wanted. We were spared the pain. Making decisions about abortion which can define “medical” issue from social issue is a quandary not easily solved especially in such a selfish dishonest world. Thanks for the new slant.

  5. Faye says:

    Thank God you have not been in the actual situation of needing to decide. From my perspective I too have taken my stand on abortion and the sanctity of life. BUT……..humanity dictates circumstances where absolutes will never apply. My own mother had an abortion (Japanese planes were flying over Australia. My mother was frightened like everyone else. My father was fighting in the middle-east after the briefest of stays with (me – a little baby and my mum)and was not allowed to come home. Mum was pregnant, terrified. Worried she could not run and save me if bombing occurred. Her whole life she grieved for the child that should have been. Knowing God forgave her but the ‘loss’ was raw. Then I worked for three years with a gynaecologist who worked with all sorts of pregnancies, very young, fraught with danger, rape etc etc. He worked at a catholic hospital …..absolute…..NO ABORTIONS HERE. Sanctity of life. However they trusted my doctor….catholic doctor…would fight with every means possible to save both mother and child. He would ensure where young mothers would be cared for with baby after. BUT ……if crisis came and decisions had to be made he told me once he had to choose …..give both lives every chance. but nurture and encourage that life which had the most change of ‘thriving” not simply existing. Abortion is such a sensitive issue. It will change a woman’s life FOREVER even if society say ‘Self FIRST”. courageous Post Oneta. May God protect our hearts if we express our truth of feelings etc.

  6. calmkate says:

    Abortion is such a grey issue and I feel blessed that I didn’t have to deal with such a decision in my own life. But have supported others through the process in some pretty shocking situations. Pregnancy by rape or incest, foetus in the tube … sadly there are too many examples where some people do need to have one. So please don’t judge those who still bear the cross of having one, they seldom recover emotionally as Nobody takes a life lightly?

    • oneta hayes says:

      My heart is with those who have to have one. That is my issue here with nameless. Also I agree about it having long lasting results. My cry is against those who take advantage of these “medical” kinds of problems in order to legalize abortion for just about anybody at any time. The political cry of “Women’s Rights” I am totally against. These things like children having babies, tube pregnancies are a far cry from “It’s my body, I can do what I want with it.” The rape and incest are terrible things but as you said those having an abortion “seldom recover emotionally” on top of the evil that has already been caused. I thank you for responding. When I do my “wrap-up” of this series I will certainly present the side of the case which you plead for.

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