Remembering  Marge, and her faithful caretaker-husband, Roy.

Marge had severe memory loss and badly deteriorating health. I had gone to see them a few times when she was either hallucinating or in a coma-like sleep. When I went last she was aware of my presence and could talk. Our conversation was something like this:

Me:   Hi, Marge, I came to tell you some of the things you have done in your life. You used to cook in a boys’ home.
Marge:   Oh, I did?
Me:   Yes, and you visited for your church and gave away a lot of pies.
Marge:   Oh, I did?
Me:   Yes, and you also arranged fun trips for older people at the church.
Marge:   Oh, I did?
Me:   Yes, you did. It’s a good thing I came to tell you, isn’t it?


How easily we are intimidated by those with memory loss! And how easy it is to just tell them ways they have been salt and light to others. Remember they might hear and understand long after they can’t speak. Bless them.

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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23 Responses to AND MARGE LAUGHED

  1. What a wonderful reminder. Thank you.

  2. This is so sweet! I have had several people in my life who have suffered with alzheimers. It’s always very sad to watch it develop and progress.

  3. dawnlizjones says:

    What a great way to visit people with memory loss! Thanks for the tip. Such kindness, I think this comes so easily for you!

  4. Faye says:

    Thank you for this reminder. My dearest friend died with a brain tumour. My last visit she wanted me to sing with her. She did not speak probably did not know who I was and her husband said ‘just sing’. What? said I. ‘She sings in the spirit’ he replied. ‘ It is her God contact’. We sang what to others may have been ‘gobblegook’ but to everyone in that hospital it was beautiful (they told me). I had no idea what I was singing but in this way we worshipped. I know God knew. Thank God for the Gift of His Son. and thank God that He is Trinity. Thank God for the Spirt who is and in us ETERNAL.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Singing is a great way to encourage the invalid. Many remember songs from the past. Of course, hymns are always good for those raised in church, but other fun kind of songs would communicate also, such as A Bicycle Build for Two, She’ll Be Coming Round the Mountain and other fun type songs. My son takes his guitar to rest homes and sings, but I just sing mostly what I remember. If it is truly a near death experience, there is nothing like the old hymns such as What a Friend we Have in Jesus and Sweet Hour of Prayer. Thanks, Faye, for adding your experience.

  5. Dawn Marie says:

    Adorable. And so very sweet. Kindness comes in all shapes & sizes. But the smile is often the best!!😉 Hugs!!!

  6. Roos Ruse says:

    Youngsters have told me how hard it is to visit the aged and people with memory loss. I heartily disagree. While it tugs at my heart once in a great while, I’ve learned to do my best to focus upon the present. I admit reminding Marge of the good she’s done makes me smile too. I hope friends like you are near when I need reminders, Oneta ❤

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, dear Roo. For us it seems so useless to go in and talk about the weather, but the voice they hear will be a joy to those who long so much to communicate with someone. What one says is not all that important as long as it is pleasant. They may remember old friends if you can carry good news. You’re right. Focus on the present or long years ago. 😀

  7. What a heartwarming, adorable post. You are a gem Oneta. I can imagine that moment in time when you brought Marge some sunshine 🙂

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you. I don’t do that kind of visiting now. But I am improving in my walking ability so maybe I can do it again some time. Meantime there is blogging and I am happy interacting with younger people. Not quite like “hands-on” however.

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