Comment from blogger:  “My husband and I raised three sons and this is totally the type of plain speaking we used on them. We always told them their main job as a boyfriend was to make sure they treated their dates like something precious…because they were! They must have listened as they have very little tolerance for men who “love them and leave them.”

Comment from blogger:  “Young women,… value yourself HIGHLY. See yourself as a young man’s dearest possession of a much higher value than his old Datsun car he takes out and about. and doesn’t much care about. You are to be the Prize….the wonderful….just beyond reach Ferarri he may one day have. This one can only be purchased with LOVE. Any girl who can have this vision of herself as worth more than the lesser and find the courage to say NO finds life’s value.”

I have tried to come up with some stats to substantiate what I am going to say, but I as predicted before, I can find surveys and experts who will say almost anything, so here goes my opinion again.

Nothing will replace what children are taught about themselves at a very early age.  Therefore, most responsibility lies at the feet of the family unit.  The comments above nail it, so I will not add more. 

Changed my mind, I will add more.  Referring to  Tami: I don’t Tami well enough to know why she decided to keep her baby rather than abort it.  I do believe she had some security in her home and church, and that probably influenced her decision.  Perhaps she had counseling from a Community Center for unwed mothers.  My issue today is what accountability does society have for Tami and for, perhaps, a girl named Connie who did abort her child.  We do have obligations, however, Tami and Connie are ultimately responsible for their actions.  It takes two to tango.

Tami’s parents apparently gave her a good home.  Did they go beyond providing the physical necessities?  I don’t know.  What might have been lacking?  Time.  Time to sit on the couch and watch Parent Trap or Cinderella, or anything that might have given the an opportunity to talk about serious matters in a fun setting, together.  Time to check homework, reinforce the good marks, inquire about the low ones, ask who is her best friend, and whether she gets sleepy at school.  Time! Time! Time!

And what about the schooI’s  responsibility?  I recall going to an open house at my second-grade son’s school.  I opened a workbook and found a page with every question wrong.  I asked him about it and he said he couldn’t find the right answer so he just marked one.  The page asked that the child find opposite words.  He misread the word “opposite;” I’ve forgotten what he thought it was.  Now I grant you the teacher probably told everyone what they were supposed to do on that page, and he likely did not listen.  Still the results indicated a wrong diagnosis.  The teacher did not inquire about why he missed all the questions.  Why?  I’m sure she did not have TIME!  Those marks on the page only lead to low expectations by the teacher and by the student.  Young people who have high expectations of themselves would be less likely to look for acceptance and “love” in sex.  And the sex education in schools only drags youth down; it does nothing except present sex as an animalistic urge.  Well, I’d better hold that for another day!

Okay, one more about the school sex education.  The sex education program does so little good, the answer there is to teach more and younger.  Child Trends statement regarding high school students, “The likelihood of being sexually active increases with age, by eight to twelve percentage points each year. In 2013, 20 percent of ninth-grade students reported they were sexually active, compared with 49 percent of twelfth-graders.” 

Church?  Many of them just want to give the kid what he wants in order to keep them coming.  Coming for what, I ask?  For pizza and mudslides?

A sensitivity to being an object of God’s love is needed.  I suggest  Chronicles 16:9 “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show himself strong in behalf of them whose hearts are perfect before him…”  This scripture teaches two important things: If you do wrong, God knows; if you do right, he knows that too.   The principle of reward and punishment is not highly touted in this day, but it is still true! 

On a more positive note.  My granddaughter sent me this link today which indicates a positive change in view.

My, I’m long today.  Thanks for hanging in.  


About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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  1. Dawn Marie says:

    Thank you for another insight post! The video-link you pasted in was brilliantly done by a very brave young lady. I sent this same clip to several young adult family members just yesterday and am pleased to see, from your posting, the link is truly making ‘the rounds.’ May I perhaps just leave a few words for the parents who DO train their children up right, who use morals as their guide and instruct them using scripture & church teachings as their foundation; but whose children still fall into the traps of man and the modern world. I want them to know they have not failed. And I want them to know that our Heavenly Father knows their broken-heart well. But most especially that He still treasures and loves them for having tried so earnestly to guard & guide them along the way. I pray they not judge themselves too harshly and trust that by god’s grace perhaps they’ll be blessed enough to see the Shephard one day bring them back to the flock! OH, glorious day! Thank you dearie for the opportunity to share a little bit on such a tender topic. Hugs & Blessings!

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, Dawn. You are right all the way I plan to get on that subject next when I deal with society’s acceptance of so much sex in our culture, particularly in what passes for entertainment. And also what the community should, maybe could do. I would like to use an excerpt of your comment to introduce that subject. OK?

  2. Faye says:

    I’m grateful and thankful for this subject being raised here. Also my heart rejoices at some to the comments from others. We have two dearly loved sons who we endeavoured to bring up with the values we ourselves grew up with. Our daughter obviously listened and wove her path through University and all the pitfalls of sexual freedom. Thank God she did find her way and married and has a family and believes in the lasting covenant of her marriage commitment. Our two sons however chose to ‘throw it all away’. Both reaped what they sowed with heartache and sadness – one son lives with the eternal struggle to even ‘see’ his beloved daughter. BUT……..thank you Dawn…..this is our never-ending prayer and commitment all our lives to pray them back into the Will of God…knowing His Grace and Forgiveness. 2016 we began to see a change coming. It all seems to be slow but clearly dependant on us (David and I) being uncompromising on what we believe is God’s Plan and higher Purpose for human lives.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Hang on for them. God is aware. Sometimes we would like to hurry the process, even to the detriment of what is best. Like helping a chick break through its shell and causing a weakling. I trust and believe God is making strong men of God for when the “time has fully come.” Be encouraged, dear Faye.

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