(Posting an edited re-blog today.  Thinking of my beautiful granddaughter; wishing her blessings as her college graduation is near.  Story begins about sixteen years ago.  My thoughts as the album pages turn.)


The browning album crackled from the weight of the fading pictures as mygrandchildren turned the page of the wonderland that used to be.  Alayna said to Pete, “That used to be Grandma.”

“No, Alayna, you’re wrong,” I thought. “That girl was never me.  I wore her clothes and combed her hair, but she never cuddled my babies, pursued a career, or licked the seal of an envelope containing a final payment. She never climbed my mountains, nor stumbled in my valleys.  She had never faced my temptations, nor experienced my victories.  That girl was never grandma, but I was once that girl.”


Remembering the incident leaves me thinking about why I blog.  One of the reasons I want to become a blogger is because of the opportunity I have to get acquainted with young people.  (And at my age, even sixty is young people!)  I was raised at a time and in a community where there was almost no “generational” divide.  The generations did things together: family reunions, singing rallies, church dinners, baseball, ice skating.  Schools often had several ages and grades in the same room.  We even went places in the same car!  I miss that.  I love young people.  I have walked in their shoes.  I believe I have experiences which would interest them, and I know they have experiences I would like to know about.  Most honestly I can see and hear things so I know some things but I don’t understand the reasons why.  Maybe I can find out some whys by reading blogs.


A recent story.  I was talking to a little girl who I believe had taken a stick of gum and lied about it, but she denied it vehemently.  I told her of my experience when I was about her age.  I had taken a stick of gum out of my aunt’s sewing machine drawer.  As far as I know no one ever knew it, but it made me feel so guilty that I still remember it.  She still didn’t confess and maybe she didn’t take the gum.  But if she did I wanted her to understand I had been where she was.

Embarrassed?  I’ve been there.  Feel ugly?  I’ve been there.  Frantic with sorrow?  Up all night with sick babies?  Worried?  Tight budget?  Dejected in love?  Loved and been loved?  Scared to speak in public?  Need tires but no money?  I’ve been there.


Back to the photograph.  I was that girl.  I experienced what that girl experienced.  But I knew nothing of the things to come that would make me “me.”  Salty tears and delicious laughter, the birth of my child and the death of my mother, the dirge of night and the delight of dawn, the pain of aging and the hope of the eternal,  Yes, I was that little girl, but she was never me. And, my precious near-graduate, I once walked in the shoes of a twenty-four-year-old, facing decisions that would determine the actions that would make me an eighty-three year old “me,” with a beautiful, delightful, intelligent, and loving grand-daughter whom I love very much, who someday will be her own “me”.  May you be blessed, now and forever. May you make wise choices regarding the future; God has a plan.  Life is nicer if you walk in it.  Wandering does happen sometimes, but He still has a plan!

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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  1. shoreacres says:

    Such a lovely post, and so filled with truth. What we were in the past is only a part of what we are now. And today? The women we are still don’t know the fullness of what we will be.

  2. simpledimple says:

    Love, Love, Love for this great piece. Such an emotive writing! Thanks Ma’am Oneta for sharing. I’m always enriched whenever I read your posts. 🙂

  3. Faye says:

    Beautiful blog. Inspirational and profound. If we all could realize similar. The girl is still inside the older body BUT as you said the girl who lived and lives today could never have comprehended the journey to where it is today. (probably just as well in some instances). In many ways I am so glad for the wisdom of older years BUT. Thank you for the posting. it is thought-provoking and lasting in the mind.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Young people seem not to realize we once walked where they walked. The temptations are different and the boundaries are looser but we all have to learn to say no to what harms us or our society. Thanks, Faye. I have had the great grands a couple of days this week so I am behind on my reading. But hope to catch you next pass through! Thanks for you consistent encouragement

  4. JoAnna says:

    This post makes me feel young at 61 and even look forward, a little to getting older, and a lot to getting wiser. I have often thought about sending a message back in time to my younger self. Now, I’m wondering what my eighty something self will want to tell me.

  5. Dawn Marie says:

    So very sweet. And such a gift for all of us who are so blessed to read what you have written!! Hugs & Blessings!

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, dear Dawn. If God is helping me at this end, he is also blessing at the reading end. Love believing my writing is something that can be blessed by Him. 😀

  6. Pingback: 2001: A Letter to My Divorced Self | Anything is Possible!

  7. Your post makes me feel warm all over. I simply love this. Beautiful, sweet, open and yet tender.

  8. agshap says:

    Beautiful thoughts from a beautiful lady. You have a great outlook on life.

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