AMY – MORE THAN A MOM

 

amy

 “To Amy*, my Mom. To a loving mother from a sorrowful daughter 13 years too late.”

Thus began a letter I wrote full of remorse about my not having expressed more appreciation for her talents. Especially her ability to write historical stories, even make-believe stories like her Baretta** story. I could make a quick judgment about her art I knew it was  good, but I knew so little about writing and took even less time to care about it.

Now that I love to write I wish I had shared more of that with her. A section from my letter to her says – “I have thought of you often during the 13 years since you were here. But I think it has always been because I wanted you to see MY accomplishments, MY family, MY home, MY yard, MY Lexus – never because I wanted to share YOUR accomplishments, YOUR genealogy, YOUR house, YOUR yard, YOUR writings, YOUR pictures. Sorry, sorry, sorry.”

I destroyed the letter.  I’ve learned a very humbling lesson. What good is an “I’m Sorry” when it’s too late. I don’t know what I will remember when I see her again. But I hope I will still have the opportunity in Heaven to say, “Mom, you were an amazing woman when you lived on earth.”

*Mom, about 65 years old.

**”Baretta” was a story about their dog who is telling his life’s story.

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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6 Responses to AMY – MORE THAN A MOM

  1. adventures says:

    I guess we all walk away with regrets some things that we took for granite, said or did to our mothers. I regret not being able to get along for an extended amount of time. We could spend so much more time together if only I could not take her negativity to heart.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thanks for your response, Chrissy. I guess I identify with my mom now that I have children, grandchildren who have busy lives. The do love me but give little recognition to the fact that I have many achievements outside the “mom” “gramma” role. But that is the most important role I can play for them. I’m thankful that we have no problem that way Some I do not see often and do not know as well as I would like to. That is part of growing up and establishing one’s own family.

  2. I find myself in a similar position. Our relationship was good, but I wish now that I’d done more.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Our lessons have to be learned then expressed through our relationships with those who are now living. I think you are doing a good job of that with your encouragement and participation in and with M’s writings. You know her worth as a mom, and are learning more and more about her worth as a writer, as she is learning about you. Cheers!

  3. Ahhh,very sweet and well said. My own kids have busy lives and I don’t want them fretting about me, but I know they are going to regret it someday. They don’t know their mother very well, I am just “mom.” Sometimes I try to tell them but they don’t understand.

    I spent a lot of time getting to know my parents, reading their writing, their artwork. They weren’t the best parents,but I took the time to get to know them. My kids don’t really understand why that is so important. A sign of the times perhaps. Someday they will, so I try to leave lots of bread crumbs in my wake, just in case they don’t come to their senses before I pass away. 🙂

    • oneta hayes says:

      Yes, the shoe is on the other foot now! I am realizing a little bit about younger mothers who complain about “not having time to be me.” I understand a bit, but I will never believe “being me” is equal to “being mom” when “mom” is what is needed. First things first. But there comes a time when mom has to move on; when that time comes, it is nice to still share with one’s offspring. I salute you for knowing your parents beyond mom and dad. And I also, do a lot of this writing “just in case” they want to catch up with me when I’m gone. 😀 (I do wish my kids would read my doctoral manuscript now. But it sounds so dull, they think. It’s not! :D)

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