bfoken car mrror

“I’ll deny it,” I thought.  “I’ll tell them some boys came by and vandalized it.”

I’ve driven for seventy years with only a speeding ticket now and then, no serious accidents.   Now this is the third one in six months.  They will take my car. I’m not careless,  and neither am I a liar.  It’s time.  “Thank God, that I have hurt no one.”

“Hi, Dear,”  I said into the phone.  “I’ve had another accident.  Will you come help me with the car?  I cannot judge distance well enough to drive any more.”

Then I sat down and cried.




About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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35 Responses to LETTING GO

  1. mandibelle16 says:

    Aw that’s so sad. Kuedos to her for admitting it though.

  2. This is tough because you are letting go of a freedom you’ve held for so long. Bless you for realizing it’s what you needed to do. ❤

    • oneta hayes says:

      Dorinda, thankfully for me I am not in this fix yet. But I have peers who have so I’ve been close to the pain. If it happens to me, I hope I can take my own advice.

      • Ah ok, I thought it was you!! I have been trying to make my mom understand that it’s time but she’s a stubborn 83 year old. I can only pray she heeds my words…

        • oneta hayes says:

          I guess we all put off that time. Age alone is not a fair standard for judging one’s safety to themselves and others. Does she still make rapid common sense judgments? Is her vision corrected? How are her reflexes? Do you see any signs of mental slowness? I do think anyone over 80 (or some age reasonable) perhaps even 70 should have to pass driving tests. Here in Okla, we can renew driver’s licenses automatically, even with no fee, after about 65; I think. I know I got my last license without test or fee. That shouldn’t be, even though I get mine that way. I think the members of my family would vouch for my driving ability even now – 83. However, I do “scrape” my passenger side to the point of embarrassment. I think it is because I am so cautious against the cars parked on the left side of my driveway. I park in the garage right side so I have hit the post on the right side of the driveway. Oops! I know I did it once, but there is an unexplained second scrape near the same area. I’m almost the only driver of my car. One time I loaned it and it came home wounded. The borrower acknowledged accountability. Yep, my poor car has three wounds on the right side. I am likely responsible for two of them! 😀

          • Ouch! lol Mom is slowing down reflexes are not what they were. I’m concerned for her safety and the safety of others. Fingers crossed 🙂

            • oneta hayes says:

              Sorry, Dear. Sounds like the time has come. It would be so much easier if she had to pass a test by an objective person who has the power to take away her license. I hope my family never has to make the decision. I hope I will trust them enough to let them decide. Can you consult her doctor? Maybe he/she could help.

              • Yes, her eye doctor told her she shouldn’t be driving, even though her eyesight is good. I suppose I’m getting to the point of speaking to her physician. As an only child, the wrath of taking that away from her, will fall on me. But I’m ok with that.

              • oneta hayes says:

                Dorinda, do you live in an area where they have transportation available for seniors. Here you could check the senior center. Maybe if you are armed with that and/or a commitment of a couple scheduled hours with you each week, it would at least make you feel better to have given her some options. She should be conscious of how much taking her car will make it hard on you.

  3. Alexis Rose says:

    Thats sad…Im glad we aren’t talking about you!! 💕

    • oneta hayes says:

      I’m driving a lot less. That is one reason I decided to get into this blogging fun. I can have friends and make positive ventures this way. I worked last for a church and my ministry required a lot driving, visiting invalids, rest homes, hospitals, etc. Age, some health issues, and shortage of money demanded a change. But I sill take off for a few hundred miles if the urge hits me! Thanks, dear. 😀

  4. Salvageable says:

    That sudden transition from driver to non-driver can hit people very hard. My father has surprised my sister and I by how easily he gave up driving. J.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Sending love back to you. I haven’t taken “little pictures” yet. I think it is in Blogging 201; I’ve only mastered Blogging 101 which stops at 😀

  5. Dale says:

    I think it’s sadder when one does not realise it and has to have it taken away involuntarily. Nice story.

  6. LucciaGray says:

    That’s so sad. Well done, lovely story 🙂

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, Luccia. I went over to visit you Looks like you write the kinds of books I love. I’ll check more. I appreciate your kind words about my “Letting Go” post. I haven’t come to having to make that choice yet – hopefully I never will. But then I plan to live well into my nineties, so….:D

      • LucciaGray says:

        Thank you for visiting my blog:)
        My mother is 87 and still drives. She loves it! On the other hand I don’t drive much myself any more if I can avoid it. It stresses me out!

  7. jellico84 says:

    I hope that when the time comes, I can hang up my keys with the same grace (and maybe a few tears). A well told tale that should remind us all to appreciate each day with it’s small graces such as driving.

  8. Dear Oneta,

    This is indescribably touching. Well done!



    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, Rochelle. For my peers here in the wide open country where taxis are almost unknown, I think sometimes giving up one’s car is as much of a crisis as is giving up one’s home. I believe I could downsize my home easier than give up driving. I’ll do my fair share of crying over either or both. 😀

  9. Faye says:

    Well done indeed Oneta. My transition from driver to non-driver was not as dramatic as yours but I’m still astonished at how it came about. I have loved driving. Only forty + years (not as long as you) and I know I am younger than most who stop but I had a major operation and was advised not to drive for three months. This was hard but what I did not expect….when the three months was over I honestly felt like I never wanted to drive again. The absolute desire, confidence and I sense ability was GONE. I too have cried….something was lost….but…..all of life is a journey and I have had to accept that the one behind the wheel is over. Understanding and love to you as I too live in a country area but just driving down our own hill is no longer something I want to do. Seasons and changes!. Hugs!

    • oneta hayes says:

      First off, my “letting go” was not about me. I’m still driving; will take myself to the blood clinic this morning. I guess I could empathize enough with peers that is made the flash fiction piece seem real. As well as the fact that I am older than some who have had to hang up their keys. Your experience is so positive! How do you manage? Taxi? Family? Walk?

  10. I enjoyed your little tale, too. I think men have a lot harder time “letting go” of things like this — a least my husband will! — because they’re usually the principal drivers. My husband has dealt with macular degeneration — and been treated successfully, thanks be!— and there were times I really worried. But when he’s in the car he’s behind the wheel (unless after a treatment) and that’s that. I worry about passenger side “close calls” but he says that’s just me; he wasn’t that close. 🙂

    • oneta hayes says:

      Do you sometimes not need to shave the right side of you leg? Perhaps that would show him how close it was! 😀 My husband and I seldom ride together because we have so many separate activities. Our togetherness generally only require sitting, eating, or sleeping. Really it does bother me to ride with him. I don’t think he is dangerous but he doesn’t make the decisions as I would. For instance, he will begin slowing down about half a block from a stop light; I come near bumping the guy in front before I start to slow down. I’m joking. I think you are a new reader. I can be a bit over-speak or under-speak sometimes. 😀 I’ll come visit you after while.

  11. Awww! I feel this. Letting go is difficult, to say the least. I feel you. ((Hugs)) I admire your courage.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Dear Jacque, I hope I shall be so noble when that time comes. Twasn’t me. I guess I could feel the pain of peers well enough to write this Friday Fictioneer 100 word story with the picture prompt. I don’t deserve your admiration. I pity my kids! Oh, maybe I’ll be ready by then. Not many hundred-year-olds drive! 😀

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