Was your Mother’s Day painful?

Scenario:  At church about ten-twelve years ago.

Preacher:  “Let all the mothers stand up.”  I stood.  “If you’re here with your mother, stand up please,” he continued.

A very common routine for the day that I had participated in many times.  But that day, my heart fell.  Although my husband and I had been empty-nesters for many years, that was the first year that I had been to church by myself on Mother’s Day.  Both sons and families no longer lived close by or had other obligations, and for some reason my husband did not go with me.

I purposed right then that I would never be alone on Mother’s Day again.  I would go to my son’s—–or something—or anything!

Now my story  doesn’t elicit much sympathy from you.  Neither should it!  Just a story from an extravagantly spoiled mother and grandmother.  😀


There are so many reasons for some people (both male and female) not to have a happy Mother’s day:

  1. Those who are barren but want children.

  2. Those who lost a child in the noble defense of our  country or  even worse, those who lost a child in the ignoble death of a criminal.

  3. Those who are carrying a chip on their shoulders who need to forgive and be forgiven.

  4. Those who are spending their time watching a son, daughter, mother, or father die whether because of their own actions or because of disease or accident.

  5. Those who never knew mother or father.

  6. Those who made a decision to have an abortion whether “justified” or not.

  7. Those who have been rejected.

There are probably other reasons,  Some of these groups were brought to my attention by my friends or relatives on Face Book because the Lord had placed a special empathy to them for that group.  He is a Father who cares.

The reason I believe that to be true (that God placed the special group on someone’s heart) is that he did the same to mine.  Sometime Friday or Saturday, Isaiah  49:15 came to my mind.  It says:  “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no companionship on the child she has borne?  Though she may forget you, I will not forget you!  See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands;”  So to  you who have been rejected by your mothers, this is God’s message to you.





About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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  1. Salvageable says:

    I’m glad you wrote this. J.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you. As I said to Mustardseed, it is so satisfying to know you have been “prodded” or urged by God to give a special blog for the day. I know you know the feeling. Be blessed by him.

  2. Thanks! I fight against the pain being the only one left in my family in a world that looks fairy tale perfect, though it isn’t. I was always sure of marrying young nd mothering many,but never married nor any kids. I was care giver for unwell parents who Are Gone and now, though free, have health challenges and am too old to have babies BUT He is with me, has purpose for me, and uses every broken part of the body! HAVE HOPE! I STILL DO!

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thanks so much, Martha L. If you alone were the subject of God’s love represented by this blog, it is so worth having written. May other be blessed and encouraged as you have been by receiving the message as being special for you That is the will of the Lord. The Word says, “Taste and see that the Lord is good.” The answer is to all. To all who accept his Word, the taste is marvelous. So glad you have found your place in him. Be blessed as you bless others. He is good!

  3. atimetoshare.me says:

    Amen! God cannot reject us, because His love is unconditional. We, on the other hand, can reject Him. Thanks for this post.

  4. calmkate says:

    your openness to embrace all is nourishing, thank you Oneta for remembering all those not so blessed!

    • oneta hayes says:

      So many hurt for so many reasons. I don’t forget them. But I do try to point to a better choice when one can make it. Such as becoming humbled land seeking forgiveness. But death … now that’s another matter. Then I can only advise to go to the Prince of Peace. Thanks for your sweet words. I napped today but my eyes and brain are going out on me. 😀 Hope I’m making sense. Good night, dear.

      • calmkate says:

        you make a lot of sense Oneta … are you preparing to go somewhere else or just looking after yourself? Take care sweet lady

        • oneta hayes says:

          I went to bed. However, the security alarm went off about 3:30 (a door had blown open) so it woke me. After all the commotion I couldn’t go back to sleep. So here I am at 5:00 checking up on you and others. 😀 It’s too early. I have an appt at the blood clinic this morning then I will do grocery shopping, so I will probably have to hope for a nap again when I get home. Blood clinic deal is routine. Have to do that monthly. I’m doing well, thank you. Nice day (or night) to you.

          • calmkate says:

            I really feel for you being woken at 3.30am with a frightening alarm … do hope you get a nana nap this afternoon .. take care

            • oneta hayes says:

              Tried but the nap was not successful, so I’m where I was about 24 hours ago. 😀 Sleepy and dull, but determined to read some posts. Just finished mine for posting in the morning. Didn’t post today. I did double check those door locks tonight! They’re tight.

  5. Enjoyed your article. I had a good friend who gave a baby up for adoption when she was a teen. Though she wanted with all her heart to keep it, there was strong parental pressure and no life for the baby with her as a single mom.
    Of course in those days it was a disgrace to have an illegitimate child and she also didn’t want anyone to know because of the stigma a woman gets when “she gave away her baby!” Though she married, she never had another child. Mother’s Days were hard for her, esp the “All the mothers here please stand.”
    Yes, these days are definitely hard for some. There are some people, abandoned as children, who don’t know if their mother or father is alive or dead.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Painful as it is, I hope your friend still feels comforted by the fact that she did a good thing for her daughter. I hope so. I’m sure that are a lot of reminders that hurt. I have a cousin who was raised as my sister. She has been an unbelievable joy to us. We are so thankful for her. At one point she did find her birth mother, but it did not change her place in our family. I know that kind of story would not be comforting to the mother for herself, but her love for her daughter would probably be so glad for the daughter’s happiness. Thank you for commenting.

  6. Dawn Marie says:

    Such a tender post… Thank you for reminding all of us how loved we are, no matter our story! Hugs & Happy Mother’s Day to you!!

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you. It is so sad when anyone believes they outside the grace that God offers just because of his love and the sacrifice of his Son. No other love like that.

  7. e says:

    Such a blessing you are…and sweet as the day is long Ms. Oneta.

  8. Faye says:

    Read this earlier but thought about it for a while. Thank you for writing. My heart too aches for those who believe they can live outside the Grace of God. Hope 2017 brought blessing this Mothers Day.

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