girls cooking

Ashlyn (7) and Jadalyn (8)  were here last week.  While I washed the dishes I remembered the days when they both clamored to pull up a stool and wash the dishes.  I let them do so occasionally, but generally I preferred doing it myself.  Because, you know, I was so much more efficient!

I’m connecting some dots to something I wrote four years ago.  As follows:

Let me carry it,” says Ashlyn, a three year old. “No,” I say, “it’s too heavy.” “I’ll help,” pipes up Jadalyn, four. So I give it to them. “It’s too heavy,” they say. So what did I say? “I told you so.” They responded with a smile, of all things!

There must be a better way! I question what the reason is that makes a once eager and motivated child become lazy and slothful about doing their chores. I don’t know all the answers.  I don’t even know many of them; however, I do know “I told you so,” is not very rewarding. Couldn’t I have said something like, “That sure was nice for you to try,” or “That will be fun next year when you can carry it all by yourself”?

So now I have a new question, “Why am I still learning lessons at the expense of my babies?” How long is it going to take me to “clothe myself with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. (Col. 3:12).” I can’t find one of those attributes in my story above – at least not in me.  I find them all in the little ones.


Thank you, dear granddaughters – mothers of my great grands – for teaching and modeling  good mothering to your little ones.  When I watch the girls play with dolls, I take note of the loving way they treat their babies.  It is so good to know that’s how you treat them.  Love you, my darlings – Kristina, Mandy, Leeah.  – Well, I take comfort in knowing I had a bit to do with your upbringing.

Oh, Jesus, I bless these offspring of mine in your name. Help rid me of the discouraging words, “I told you so.”  Replace it with gracious encouraging words.


Picture:  Some of my little ones cooking with their mom.

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
This entry was posted in children's chores, helpers, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to REPENTING OF “I TOLD YOU SO”

  1. Not just with children, even with adults, opportunities do present themselves to say ” I told you so.” But I doubt that we often resist the temptation to mouth those words.

  2. calmkate says:

    we all do our best Oneta but some phrases are better phased out 🙂

  3. wonderful little helpers 🙂

  4. dawnlizjones says:

    Fabulous reminder and teaching.

  5. Faye says:

    Great reminder of shortcomings in us all. I’m so pleased you can see the gentle tenderness towards dolls in the attitudes of your great-grand babies. My prayer for the next generation following us is that they too will tap into the gentle and beautiful aspects of childhood. So many babies here are running around with I pads and its very difficult to relate to what, as a little girl was precious to me. OH what Grace is needed in dealing with the technological infants.

    • oneta hayes says:

      You are so right. I do think some good learning can come by way of gadgets if they were controlled but they are so difficult to control both in the matter of content and in time. I still believe most children would rather interact with family table type games but there doesn’t seem to be time for families to relax together. I do love to watch my little ones play together. Delightful!

  6. lisakunk says:

    This is so universal. We have a 27 year old daughter and 20 year old boy boy girl triplets. They’re home from college for the summer and I’m tempted to pick up after them and load dishes as I really don’t mind but when they were here full time, growing up, they didn’t get away with me doing their work. As happy as I am to have them home, I’m gonna have to remain consistent with them and plan to do the same with their little ones someday. If it takes longer or isn’t how I’d do it, so what. I too will try to use positive terminology. No “You shouldn’t” or “Why didn’t you?” “or “I’ll show you have to clean the oven next time, we have company coming soon.” That last one I did correctly. I did the top one and my son did the bottom to keep me from being on my knees and to learn to do it. Yay.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Wow! You are an early learner. Sounds like you are a model teacher. I did learn that bit about “help clean cause we have company coming” when my guys were teens. It worked wonders!

  7. lisakunk says:

    Oh, and we spend lots of time playing cards and board games with them and their college friends who are also home. We love having a house full of young people as we know where everyone is. And somehow, they never figured out we’re not so cool. We fake it well.

  8. Debbie L says:

    You are so blessed! To have great grand babies! They are adorable and they are blessed to have a Godly and God fearing great grandma! Beautiful legacy!

  9. oneta hayes says:

    Thank you, Debbie. They are my most precious contribution to this world, except, of course, the mommies and daddies who give them everyday support and love and will influence them much longer than I can.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s