Pimple-faced, lanky,  awkward, nearly mute around a girl, this fourteen year old male adores the fourteen year old girl next door.  She is taller than he is; she has more friends, she is built…  Well, she is built well.  She is nice to him; he vacillates between bliss and despair based on whether or not she smiles at him.  He tries to get his beard to grow and learn to say “hi” without squeaking.  Finally he gives up, goes to his room, and cries his heart out with a pillow muting his sorrow.

He learns to cope.  Decides driving a car will be his day – the day he will ask her out.  He bravely turns his mind to study and his body to exercise.  Mom and Dad are rightfully proud of him; they are understanding go-to parents, and he appreciates their approval.

Finally, sixteen.  This is the year!  School dance on Friday night.  He does it!

“You wouldn’t want to go to the dance with me, would you?”  Hallelujah, he didn’t squeak.

“Oh,” she responded, “I have a regular boyfriend who I will be going with.”

He goes to dad for advice.  Dad said, “Faint heart ne’er won fair maiden.”

So he tries again, but she said she is going to spend the night with a friend.

Again.  “Will you go to church with me next week?”  She wouldn’t because she couldn’t miss her own church.

The years roll by.   He can’t forget his early crush.  They are no longer neighbors.  He seldom sees her.  She has changed but she is still a beauty.  “Go for it,” he tells himself.  So he goes to her workplace, and asks her out.  She tells him to get lost and quit harassing her.

My young hero does eventually find a girl who appreciates him for his study, exercise,  respect for his parents, honor for God.  And he grows such a nice beard and has a charming husky voice, a couple of qualities his wife adores.


Fortunately for the world and the continued population of the earth, most young men do turn out like my hero.

But what else might my young man have done?  1. He might have turned on the bluster; who cares anyway.  Poor grades, rude to parents, dangerous driving, drink, drugs.  2.  He might have isolated himself, became depressed, ate twinkies and potato chips, drank sodas, and gained enough weight to apply for government disability checks.  3.  He might have turned to social media, played video games, checked out some porn, decided his life just had no hope, committed suicide.  4. He might have sought help from the school counselor –  one who suggested that he might be homosexual.  Wow, that’s a deal.  Don’t have to ask a girl out again.  Just make friends in the gym showers.


I’m glad I wasn’t a boy!



About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
This entry was posted in culture, falling in love, gender roles, men, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to IT’S TOUGH TO BE A BOY

  1. I’m just thankful the boy got the right girl 😉

  2. says:

    Sounds like it turned out in this boys case, but all the negatives could have. I’m glad I’m not a boy either. Soon we’ll all be the same.

    • oneta hayes says:

      All too often the negatives win out. I lean toward thinking his good parents and respect for God (church) had something to do with his outcome. Those are not “insurance” against the negative but I’m sold on the support they offer. Why not use every resource at our fingertips? And yes, we will be gender neutral someday, but it will not be in this earthly life, no matter how many parents refuse to allow “boy” or “girl” to be recorded on the birth certificate. In Heaven we will not be gender conflicted as is beginning to be so manifest here. Shucks, science is not even right anymore.

  3. Wally Fry says:

    Well said, Oneta. You captured some reality here.

  4. Elihu says:

    It’s tough being a boy! I worry for my own little guy and I hope we can raise him up to have enough confidence not to be crushed by girls and enough humility to see himself as a servant of God.
    Offering up lots and lots of prayers…

    • oneta hayes says:

      You have God’s word upon which to intercede for your family. I have two sons well into Grandfather ages now, but they are both Christians with mostly Christian offspring. Not all. But God is not through with them yet. Some have walked in a barrel of trouble getting there and I wish I could protect them from that, but they do have free will. Keep prayers going and keep good Christian family support. Be blessed as you wisely guide, direct, and discipline and love you little one.

  5. Faye says:

    Again thank you Oneta. You are telling it as it is. (sadly, without God and parents who love and nurture the young I hardly can bear to think of a world after we have gone ‘home’. Perhaps indeed as many are saying it is coming to the place of ‘so far and no further’ before God is once again going to act. Second Coming yes but what about the Judgment?

  6. Licirose Lee says:

    hmm .. try being a girl !!!!!!!

  7. I liked this post. It was a little funny but still thought-provoking. Was this a true person?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s