wedding 3

Someone has to bend,

When two egos are united.

Willing to chance it?


The picture:  Mr. & Mrs. Samuel Hayes, July 5, 1953

In 1953 marriage was a covenant seldom looked at as breakable.  When Sammy and I made that commitment it was done with a “until death do us part” future.   Did we bend?  Sure enough!  He bent sometimes; I bent sometimes.  The “Promise” was often subject to compromise.  Could I have kept that promise if I had married someone else?  Probably.  I don’t know but I’m glad he wasn’t someone else!  I’m glad my commitment was made to Samuel Hayes!


NOTE:  Do I think there are circumstances in which a divorce is justified?  Yes.  I do not think a person should be “broken” in any abusive situation.  But many marriages could be saved by bending a little.


About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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31 Responses to IT’S BEEN GREAT, MY DEAR!

  1. Wonderful! Thanks for sharing.

    Be blessed!

  2. Sweet! I just adore that photo. Seriously, what a treasure of a photo. Are you having an anniversary? I think you are. Happy anniversary! I’m so pleased to have met you and to read your words.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Yes, it is anniversary #65. I jokingly told Sammy today I am running out of things to tell about him. No material. His birthday is in July also, so two “Sammy” themes in one month for all this time. Wheeee…

  3. joyroses13 says:

    Love the picture and wise words. Reminds me of a article in a newspaper that I saw about a interview with a elderly couple. They were asked about the secret of long marriage. They said, “when something is broke , you don’t just throw it out, you fix it.”
    But like you said yes unfortunately there are some marriages that just can’t be fixed.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Sure does take a lot of fixin’ but well worth it. Truthfully if one doesn’t fix it the problem just goes with him/her. We have each been at fault about equal amounts of time! 😀

  4. my mom and dad were married June 16th, 1953—obviously a very good year 🙂

    • oneta hayes says:

      Our close friends were married on that day, or within a day or two – about three weeks before we were. He was home for furlough so they got married. Sammy was his best man. The are both still married, still doing pretty well. We were in a group of six couples who married about that time and remained friends all these year, although we don’t spend much time together now. Anyway of those six couples, one couple have both died. two ladies are widows, and three, like Sammy and I, are still alive and together in our own homes. No divorces among us; however, we do have offspring who are divorced. We were blessed. We all met at the same little Bible college. Good times. 😀

      • Mother and Dad had a group just like that…
        there is only one widow and one couple who remians that I know of…they had all lived together as young couples in the same apartment complex and I can actually remember a little bit of those days when I came on to the scene—we moved shortly after that to the house… that dad lived in until the day he died—and now our son and his family call it home—I love these continums of ours Oneta 🙂

        • oneta hayes says:

          I guess when we hear remarks about the 50’s they really do paint a picture of the “common man” of that day. Pretty much the onset of TV; it had not upset the apple cart so much in the first few decades of its existence. I blame it for a lot of negative changes that play out in these more recent decades. We do share a lot from the past … and we have big plans for the mysteries in our future. A hundred years from now I wonder how I will find you! I’m going to get as close to Jesus as I can, maybe that is where I will find you.

  5. calmkate says:

    oh what a handsome couple! 65 years is impressive in any ones books, well done both of you!

    • oneta hayes says:

      We are fortunate to have lived long enough to make 65 possible. Many would have longed to be together longer but death happened! My parents only got to celebrate 42 anniversaries because my daddy died with heart attack at 63. I have widow friends who would love to have had many more years with their loves. Thanks for the compliment – handsome couple – that sounds very nice. 😀

  6. shoreacres says:

    What a wonderful photo, and what wise words you’ve shared. I think there must be an anniversary lurking around, so congratulations. And even if there isn’t, congratulations anyway. It takes a lot of understanding — and humor — to make it through so many years.

    You’ve reminded me of one of my favorite songs. I’ll bet you like this one, too.

  7. Happy Anniversary! How wonderful for you both. I’m coming up on our 33rd this month. How I wish the 20 something’s of today understood what compromise is instead of taking the easy way out. ❤️❤️❤️

  8. oneta hayes says:

    May you be blessed to live long and comfort each other with your love, memories, and new visions.

  9. Faye says:

    Beautiful picture. Happy Anniversary.! I agree wholeheartedly. I accept that a few marriages made with commitment, genuine love and care for the ‘other’ more than care for ‘self’, still may need to be resolved but most….and this is the real criteria…..if the Promise is made before God and with Him. He becomes the third Person in the relationship . When the bending comes its on Him the healing Grace and restoration comes. Sadly, few marriages make promises any higher than the top of their heads and these promises, words given and commitments expressed are broken as easily as if purchasing a car, Secular societies where there is no God struggle because the joining of two lives is simply not viewed as a ‘fusion’ that can be made incredibly strong and resilient when God is the glue. 48 years for David and I this year.(we hold each other and on to Him in Hopes to make it 50). Thank you dear Oneta for the beautiful post.

  10. Faye says:

    To Oneta and Sammy on this special anniversary I would like to express sincerely my wholehearted blessings for Strength and ongoing closeness and PEACE. Holding fast for whatever surprises and beauty you can share together. xx

  11. Congratulations!!! And yes compromise is definitely needed in a marriage…from both sides! Many more years together for you both!

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