“My heart is broken.  My grandson has broken his parole.  If they find out, he will be back in prison.”  Grandmother confides to her friend.

“I am at wit’s end, I know my husband is being unfaithful to me.”  Wife weeps brokenly to her sister.

“I am a shop-lifter.  I need help.  Please pray for me.”  Church member says to her small prayer cluster.

“I’ve been told I have a serious illness, that I must prepare for my death in about four months.”  Friend explains to me about her depression.

Secrets.  The Bible says to love one another, confess to one another, pray for one another. These kinds of statements are fairly common in the Christian community, and as far as I have observed, generally secrets do remain secrets within that setting.  Most Bible-conscious people are warned against the sin of gossip, and they feel accountable before God for the precious gift that has been entrusted to them when someone confides in them.

I’m sure other religions have taboos regarding “a loose tongue,” but I’m not familiar with them as I am with the Bible.  There are many of all faiths (or no faith) who take their responsibility seriously.  Do you have a confidant to whom you can turn?  Are you the kind of person in whom others can put their trust?  Or do your acquaintances have to go to a professional—if they can afford to?

No light burden—that of keeping one’s mouth shut!


image: unsplash, Kristina Flour

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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18 Responses to HOLDING THE TONGUE

  1. Salvageable says:

    Awesome post! We were warned in school about how prayer circles could turn into gossip chains, and I’ve always been very careful about asking people I know for their prayers. I also tend to be very closed-mouth with the secrets people entrust to me, and I’m rather shocked when a pastor or church leader shares confidential information with the congregation under the heading of asking for prayers. J.

  2. So important! Excellent post, dear Oneta!! ❤

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you. On occasion I have had to hold it – even without a hint that I might know something I wouldn’t tell. Smile. You know God doesn’t even allow a “Yes, I know her problem; she told me but I can’t tell.” 😀 He gives short rope on that kind of thing!

  3. Charlotte Q. says:

    I also have a similar fear about trusting people in church. They tend to spread confidential information

    • oneta hayes says:

      I trust them much more than the general public, but I am careful about who I share with. Some things I have only taken to Jesus. He is safe and can help the situation or help be in the situation.

  4. Great post Oneta! Gossip makes Paul’s list of people who don’t inherit the Kingdom. It destroys families, churches and friendships but we don’t take it very seriously. I like your approach.

  5. Roos Ruse says:

    I prayerfully considered skipping past some older posts to get caught up faster and current. This important message feels like my reward for staying my ground, Oneta. I’ve been stabbed by gossip mongers in sheep’s skins too. Bless God Who led me through to show me we are ALL broken, to forgive, pray harder and let the healing flow. Good work here.

  6. Debbie L says:

    Important post! Before we were having marital problems, I was part of some “male bashing” groups. And that ended up causing me to lose respect for my husband – I should have lost respect for myself. It got so bad, I divorced him! BUT thankfully, God got the last laugh since we were married in the Church and made serious vows. HE restored our marriage! And then I learned to take my prayers first to the Lord and next to my husband. He asked why didn’t I share my angst over our marriage with him???? Good question – but you can be sure I do now.
    We are now transparent with our marriage and offer to share whatever we can to help other couples. What a ministry that has opened up for us. We KNOW how important confidences are and it’s best to keep them between ourselves and the Lord!!!

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