WHY?

game playing

I’ve been rummaging and remembering family treasures and times together.  I don’t remember “moody” peers.  Suicides were almost a never happen event.  For the first thirty years, I only knew one person who committed suicide.  No illegal drugs/but there was smoking and drinking.  Few young people were sick.  What is happening?

I suggest that much crime-sickness-suicide-depression is caused by the alienation of children from adults. Consider the following cultural changes which separate children and adults.

  • Family table games have changed to solitary video games.

  • Cars allow more peer chauffeuring. No need for parents to drive the children to practice sessions, over night pajama parties, etc.

  • Churches separate children, teens, adults by providing age-based services and facilities.

  • Parents spend more hours working, and neighbors are hesitant to get involved.

  • Fast food pick-up and individually merchandised packaging hampers family meals.

  • Some parents are self centered, and want their “alone” time. 

  • Entertainment such as TV and movies make kids believe it is not “cool” to enjoy moms and dads. 

  • Blended and divided families make bonding with a parent seem disloyal.

  • Higher income has allowed computers, audio-video equipment, cell phones for children’s rooms.

  • No longer family centered TV watching.


Where is the watchful eye of an extended family, the neighborhood, the community church or school? Were any of you ever told, “There’s an eye watching you?”

This reminds me of a first grade student who had been misbehaving in the bathroom. Kids told on him but he wouldn’t “fess up.” I took him to the principal’s office. The principal wasn’t there. As I turned him over to the secretary so I could go back to my classroom, she said to him, “Now, Bobby, I didn’t see you, Mrs. Hayes didn’t see you, the principal didn’t see you, but God saw you. Did you do that?” He very reluctantly nodded his head. There is something to be said for the non-faculty position! And much to be said for teaching children that they are accountable to God!

In case you do not know.  The scripture really does say that God is watching out for good and for evil.  Isn’t that something!  Most critics think he is only looking to catch one doing bad things.  No, he is hoping to catch you doing good.  😀

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Image:  Thank you, Pixabay

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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24 Responses to WHY?

  1. I’ve been saying this for years, Oneta. When they took God out of the pledge of allegiance , it was downhill from there. Today, parents both work so children are alone a lot. More time for trouble, falling in with the wrong crowds & drugs. It’s a sad world today. ☹️

  2. Salvageable says:

    There are a lot of factors involved in the crumbling of our society. I’m glad that you included the church’s tendency to break attendees apart by age. Families need to sit together for the service, from beginning to end. Teens could gain much by attending Bible classes with their elders. Social events at the church should pull everyone in and not leave anyone sitting alone at the edges. J.

    • oneta hayes says:

      This age division sometimes does gather crowds in the jr/high school years, but I have seen no evidence that those students stay into adulthood. In fact, I don’t believe they do as well as those who are in smaller churches with lots of attention from adults. Too bad.
      Thanks for the comment. You are right about the events matter.

  3. Community is SO important! Dr. James Dobson did a study on depression in women, and it seems that among “housewives” depression skyrocketed with the advent of household appliances. The new machines gave them the “convenience” of being able to do things like laundry in their own homes – alone, instead of with other women, as they did in the old days.

    • oneta hayes says:

      That makes sense to me. Families once had work days together like in butchering days, and quilting bees. I admire the Amish for their maintaining a lot of that culture. And I see similar advantages now in home schooling when it is done in the right way.

  4. This reminds me of this quote by the famous basketball coach—“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are…the true test of a man’s character is what he does when no one is watching.”
    John Wooden

    • oneta hayes says:

      And most people know the difference as it applies to themselves. That’s the reason I think people achieve the ‘self-esteem’ goal as presented by Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. In the realm of the spirit, that comes about be committing our sinful natures to living holy lives. For that we must have a dependence on God for our holiness. As that happens we become more humble even as we can feel better about ourselves. Breaking bondages, becoming victors. It is a burden to carry a reputation that one knows he does not deserve.

  5. I think there definitely was much less mental illness in years past. But we also used to institutionalize people who had mental illness, so many did not procreate. Now many people are passing on their mental illness to their children. Not only that, the chemicals we use in food and cleaning supplies I believe pay a big part in the overall picture of mental illness in our world. And all this on top of everything you mentioned. It’s a recipe for the disaster we see playing out before our eyes today.

    • oneta hayes says:

      You have added to my thought in a significant way. Some of my own family members suffered Huntington’s Disease and were institutionalized. It did not come through my grandfather’s line but among his siblings half had the disease, so I had many cousins who were affected. Guess I still have but we live far apart now and I don’t keep up very well and the ones in my generation died young – about forty. That is an example of people marrying and passing on the gene without knowing what they were doing. They can do tests now so they can make decisions about marrying and child bearing.

      • Very interesting case in point with your family. Mental and even physical illness can definitely be seen to pass from from parents to children. And even skipping or spanning generations. It’s good that we can know and choose now whether we want to have children, based on the knowledge as to whether or not our children may be affected by our family anomalies.

        • oneta hayes says:

          My grandfathers line is “safe.” I’m thankful. It does not seem fair that my cousins had a fifty/fifty percent chance of having it. Not of my own goodness, nor of their lack of goodness. My mother did a lot of research; she is basically the one who found out what was happening to our people. Now it is pretty commonly known, but then we were country folks without all the information available to people now. Thanks for the chat.

  6. Faye says:

    The bottom line I believe is a rising ‘godless society’. . Have you also noticed that even in our domestic animals there is a rising up of cancerous situations….unheard of in my younger years.

    • oneta hayes says:

      No I haven’t made the connection in regard to domestic animals, but you have pointed out something that seems true to my experience. However, my generation and previous did not take their pets to the vets like they do now. So the reason for death was unknown.

  7. This post is right on. There were no children, young adult, or divorce ministries, just the Power of God, in the early church. Will reblog at theunfetteredprreacher.com

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thanks for the reblog. Holy Ghost power will draw people! Even faked power draws people; image what power of the Spirit will do. A rare occurrence these days, except many of us find Him still alive and active in our “closets.” He still lives.

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