In order to understand the circumstances that led me to the event I am about to tell you, you should read the page called, “Why Me, Lord.” It can be found at my last post, Why Me If you read that, you will see that there was little chance of me surviving on that Saturday evening except for the Lord’s intervention. Take notice of the fact that the attack happened about 4:30 or 5:00 and I did not get to the operating room until 11:30. I believe that was in answer to prayer. Notice that I gave no information about what was happening to me while I was in surgery. Now is the time I will try to give some details—most of which I have told few people, some I have told no one. Some scenes agree with others who tell of near-death experience. Some do not. I do not recall any chronological order to these scenes.
There was a tunnel; however, I had gone through a tunnel on the way up the mountain, so it is possible that scene could have been planted in my head. It also could have other significance.
At the entrance to the tunnel was a mountain of rocky cliffs. A hand like Jesus’ hand was reaching down.
There was a sense that I was being dragged back and forth horizontally through a hoop. I felt like a balloon pulled back and forth through the hoop. ** I believe that was caused by my doctors working at keeping me alive. Sort of like they were about to lose me, then they would bring me back. I was greatly troubled over that for many days.
I could hear someone speaking a foreign language. I identified with it being spoken by a missionary. At this point I believe, some one was interceding for me. Either a foreign language speaker whom I probably do not know but through whom the Holy Spirit was working. Or, maybe more likely an English speaker who was praying for me in another language such as that referred to as a “gift of the Spirit.” I do have family and friends who would allow the Holy Spirit to direct them in this way.
I believed that I heard Carl, my son, consoling members of my family by saying that they must remember that I had reached my goal by going to heaven. This was happening in a different room from where I was. Carl says he does not remember doing this although he was there praying with family. So I can’t explain why it seemed to me that he was consoling them as if I had died. Maybe to comfort my mind about my family?
I did see people I recognized who have already passed into heaven. I saw them in black and white as silhouettes would appear behind a screen; it was like they were around the corner behind a partial wall in an adjoining room. I don’t remember who they were but at that time I recognized all except a young girl who I was guess was about 12 or 13 years old. The fact that I did not recognize her makes me believe even more that this was an actual occurrence. I can understand why I might place certain people in heaven waiting for me, but I cannot believe I would have imagined a young girl whom I did not know.
There were two figures in the room with me which I recognized as angels. They were vastly different. One was the figure of a man dressed in bronze and gold somewhat like a Roman soldier, but he wore a helmet that looked like an English policeman would wear. I can’t visualize the helmet now; that’s as close as I can come to describing it. He was standing in the right-hand corner of the operating room at the wall behind me. The other figure was at the wall directly behind my head; it was a dull light similar to a solar light that might be in a garden. I recognized it as another angel. Doesn’t make sense, does it? If I had been making this up, hallucinating, dreaming, or whatever, wouldn’t you think I would have seen two angels that were similar? I believe one of those angels was there to take me to heaven if I died; I think the other might have been more of a protecting angel. I don’t know.
Now for another image. There was a man in a brown business suit who walked through the room. Of all these images that one seems the strangest. It would be easy to say I believe he was a third angel, but that wouldn’t be true. Who was he and why was he there?
There were some other images but I think they happened after I was moved into a room. I was convinced at one point that a nurse was trying to poison me—some nurse probably trying to get me to take medicine. I saw faces as though I was looking through a book, a picture on each page. One page had two faces on it. I believe those were nurses who were assigned to me after I was out of surgery.
I cannot claim this experience was peaceful; however, I could not say it was fearful ether. There were comforting moments or images but I was greatly conflicted by the pulling back and forth through the loop.** It seemed like if I couldn’t safely stay on the first side, I wouldn’t be “me” anymore. That probably doesn’t make sense. At this time I marvel that for those many hours I had enough oxygen to my brain to come out still being “me.” Maybe that conflict came about by things I could hear the doctors say. Perhaps I knew they were have a difficult time keeping me here.
I’m glad I did not die. After the intense pain at the moment of the attack, I felt no pain and had complete peace. Folks were praying all around me. I believe that is the reason I am alive and still have a functioning brain! But if I had died, I don’t believe death itself would have been painful or fearful. ———-
DIAGNOSIS FROM MEDICAL RECORDS Dr. Dimitri Kaufman (lung doctor) has written “Pulmonary edema, due to acute aortic dissection.” Dr. Walker, the heart surgeon, did say it was a near impossibility that I made it to the hospital alive and twice that that I got out of the operation alive.* His diagnosis was “Type 1 aortic valvular dissection, severe aortic valvular insufficiency, and acute heart failure.”
Notes added today, August 19, 2019. *The doctor also added that it was exceptional that I did not have infection. That seems to be the reason they kept me in ICU for so long, to be sure that would not happen.
**Comment about the “balloon” being pulled through the hoop. At this point I believe that signifies even more that it was my spirit that was struggling for life as opposed to being a fleshly body being pulled back and forth. Something to think about. I’d be glad for your thoughts.