Dear Mr. Colgate, CEO Man
(Sorry, if you are a Ms or Mrs or Something Else. I am gender identity challenged.)
First, let me say I am fully behind Giant Corporations. They are very good at hiring my men – and women. All those dozens who work at paying enough into Social Security to make me socially secure. I think of the interesting and sweet ones I met recently on the cruise – Margaret and Harry who worked for Nestle and Johnson and Johnson in the far off wonderland of Australia. Glad they had jobs. Glad they were on vacation. Glad they were paying for someone else’s social security. Or whatever goes on down there….
So much for being nice! Now what I want you to know…..
Your design for a toothpaste tube bugs me no end. In the first place, my tube starts looking like above insert, picture #1, shortly after I begin using the new tube. Day One until use, it stands up in a straight and patriotic sort of stance. Day Two starts ugly. By the time approx one half the toothpaste is used it begins looking like me. But I’m old; the toothpaste is not.
And I am tight as soot on Santa. I bend, fold, poke until I find myself mad at Mr. Trump. No reason for that I know, but when all else fails, do as the Democrats do. Get mad at Mr. Trump.
Then I say to myself, “Self, stop the idiocy. Contact Mr. Colgate. I’m sure he can redesign me a toothpaste tube that might just stand up in a nice little jar container and look real pretty there under my great grandmother’s hair necessities. Or, make a flat bottom which can bend over. Or, try some kind of powder. Oh, there’s an idea. I’ll mix the powder. Just insert wet toothbrush in jar…. (Works great, picture #2)
Thanks much, Mr. Colgate Man. It always helps to take one’s ideas to the man who can do something about ones’ problem.
And, by the way, if you see Mr. Trump, tell him you can now afford to hire a toothpaste tube designer fit to be used by those of us who still count our pennies (and wasted ounces left in toothpaste tube.)
Signed, An Ever Thankful USA Senior (Tell Mr. Trump that.) For you I’ll hold my thanks until I see what you come up with.