Dear Mr. Colgate Man


Dear Mr. Colgate, CEO Man

(Sorry, if you are a Ms or Mrs or Something Else. I am gender identity challenged.)

First, let me say I am fully behind Giant Corporations.  They are very good at hiring my men – and women.  All those dozens who work at paying enough into Social Security to make me socially secure.   I think of the interesting and sweet ones I met recently on the cruise – Margaret and Harry who worked for Nestle and Johnson and Johnson in the far off wonderland of Australia.  Glad they had jobs.  Glad they were on vacation.  Glad they were paying for someone else’s social security.  Or whatever goes on down there….

So much for being nice!  Now what I want you to know…..

Your design for a toothpaste tube bugs me no end.  In the first place, my tube starts looking like above insert, picture #1, shortly after I begin using the new tube.  Day One until use, it stands up in a straight and patriotic sort of stance.  Day Two starts ugly.  By the time approx one half the toothpaste is used it begins looking like me.  But I’m old; the toothpaste is not.

And I am tight as soot on Santa.  I bend, fold, poke until I find myself mad at Mr. Trump.  No reason for that I know, but when all else fails, do as the Democrats do.  Get mad at Mr. Trump.

Then I say to myself, “Self, stop the idiocy. Contact Mr. Colgate.  I’m sure he can redesign me a toothpaste tube that might just stand up in a nice little jar container and look real pretty there under my great grandmother’s hair necessities.  Or, make a flat bottom which can bend over.  Or, try some kind of powder.  Oh, there’s an idea.  I’ll mix the powder.  Just insert wet toothbrush in jar…. (Works great, picture #2)

Thanks much, Mr. Colgate Man.  It always helps to take one’s ideas to the man who can do something about ones’ problem.

And, by the way, if you see Mr. Trump, tell him you can now afford to hire a toothpaste tube designer fit to be used by those of us who still count our pennies (and wasted ounces left in toothpaste tube.)

Signed, An Ever Thankful USA Senior (Tell Mr. Trump that.)  For you I’ll hold my thanks until I see what you come up with.


About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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25 Responses to Dear Mr. Colgate Man

  1. Amen— toothpaste tubes need an engineering makeover!!!!

  2. says:

    Toothpaste tubes are useless. You like your jar method better.

  3. shoreacres says:

    I changed brands from Colgate because of that useless tube. I’m not any happier with what I have, so maybe I will start looking for the tin can of tooth powder.It might take a while. I just looked at the Vermont Country Store site, and they don’t have it. They’re usually my go-to for old stuff.

    • oneta hayes says:

      I have some old Post Magazines (50’s, 60’s). I wanted to look up some ads but got too occupied. I might do it yet. Or perhaps pay a grandchild to find them. That’s good. Ten cents per ad. Cheap, cheap.

    • oneta hayes says:

      I answered but I blew it out somewhere. Anyway, again. I have old Post magazines (50’s, 60’s). Maybe I’ll pay the grands to look up some ads for me. Would be interesting. If I do I’ll post what I find. Vermont Country Store, huh? I wonder about the Amish store in Branson.

  4. I gave up on the tubes of colgate and such. I now purchase my toothpaste from Young Living as it does not have chemicals in it :). Those tubes are also easy to cut so you can get every last bit of toothpaste out of them….which I love because I do have Dutch blood. (translated…..thrifty or tight)

  5. Cindy says:

    It’s those dumb flip lids..ours never close tight and so the paste crusts over and it’s a BIG mess every time you brush!! AHHHH

  6. pranabaxom says:

    Always press from the bottom and roll as you go.😂

  7. nickyab says:

    Dear Oneta, your post made me laugh because it sums up what some of us (indeed many) have thought but never put it in witty words…I’m not even going on the political side of it …Blessings and love. xx

  8. JOY journal says:

    🙂 I refuse to buy the stand-up tubes for this very reason. I buy the old-fashioned kind of tube and store it and our toothbrushes in a pretty mug inside our medicine cabinet.

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