Oneta 84

After finishing a five hour duty last week, I  decided to stop at Aldi’s to pick up some food.  Since I was tired, I tried to keep my selection to the minimum.  However, I found that I had to carry out two boxes of items plus bags of potatoes and apples and a gallon of milk.

If you are familiar with Aldi’s you know you pack your own, carry it out, put your items in the car,  take the cart back, put it in the cart line and get your quarter back.   I thought I could do that but I was concerned that I might not be able to lift the boxes out of the cart and put them in the trunk. But I could lift them in an item at a time if I had to.

I pushed the cart to the car, opened the trunk, then what do I see next to me!  A good looking young black man  opening the trunk of a white sporty car next to me.

“Would you load these boxes for me?”  I asked.

“Sure,”  he said in a friendly way.

He put in one box in a way that didn’t leave room for the other box because of a couple large items I had bought at a garage sale before deciding to get groceries.

I reached over and turned the box sideways instead of longways and made space for him to fit in the second box.

He smiled and said, “You got the brains.”

I responded, “I got the brains, you got the brawn.  God sure knew what he was doing when he made man and woman.”  He smiled in agreement, and said he would take the cart back for me.

“Take it easy,” he said, “drive home safely.”

“You know me well enough now to know that I’ll ask for help if I need it.”

So saying I drove away as he took my cart.


Race did not cross my mind until I drove away from there; then all of a sudden I thought, “Oh dear.  How would BLM look at that incident.  Me saying, ‘I’ve got the brains; you’ve got the brawn.’ ”  You see as I tell this story now, I fear I might offend somebody.

Are we in a time when it is offensive not to think “race?”  Must I see this young man as different from my 23-year-old hunk of a grandson standing by his white sporty car?

Or, forget all that!   I’m just a sexist because I really am glad I see the difference in men and women!  😀


About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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19 Responses to SECOND THOUGHTS

  1. Frank Hubeny says:

    It is good to see the difference in men and women. Nothing sexist about it.

    • oneta hayes says:

      It’s the gender-benders that trouble me. Growing up was hard enough to do when boys knew what their role in life was to be. Same for girls. In addition to those “expected” roles they were taught to help the other/not to be the other. That was a first thought; do I need to rethink it? 😀

  2. Roo says:

    I think it’s good that we are all questioning ourselves, Oneta. I imagine the gentleman is used to shoving many insults as they are handed out hourly in our society. Obviously polite, the story implies he also distinguishes racism from the difference between men, women, and I’ll say it, seniors of every gender and color =D.

    • oneta hayes says:

      I don’t think this man had any thoughts of anything being inappropriate or demeaning. It’s what others would make of the story. I’m sure an honest examination of one’s biases is good. But I hate manufactured guilt and phony retributions. We are alike for goodness sake, all sons and daughters of the Most High God. There is nothing that makes one hate more than the belief that one is hated. Using your example: Old folks don’t trust young folks; therefore, the young do not trust the old. A merry-go-round all the way. Thanks, Roo, for sending me more to think on. 😀

  3. Human kindness knows no barrier— we need to keep working in that!!!!

  4. Emilee Riggs says:

    This story was humorous and cute to me! The kindness in this story speaks volumes and we need more of that kindness in this world 🙂

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you for the “kindred spirit” I feel for you because of this comment. You understand. It was a pleasant experience. I meet lots of nice folks. Thanks for letting me know you are there. I tried to find a blog from you, but I guess you don’t have one. Send me a link if you do. Be blessed.

  5. Salvageable says:

    This is a beautiful story of two people being themselves without being self-conscious about it in the moment. We will never know what he was thinking about himself, about you, about race, about gender, or about anything else as he drove away. Your own thoughts and second-guessing are merely human. Thank you for sharing them so openly and graciously. J.

  6. pranabaxom says:

    A sexist and a racist to boot🤔. Why can’t you envision your hunk of a white grandson in a black sports car😀, or does he actually have a white sports car?

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