To save my reputation as an honest woman, let me say right off only the first story is true, the one about the pies and pigs. Then I just got carried away with myself and kept writing with little regard for the truth!
Eating season is over. Such lovely and delicious pies. I didn’t make them! My pie making history is abysmal.
You see my first time I was a young bride wanting to delight my husband with my pie making skills. Let me set the scene. We lived in a 28-foot trailer – not to be confused with a mobile home. It was a forerunner of the mobile home. We were in college and parked in “trailer park” on the far south side of the campus, next to a pig pen – with pigs. Aside: It also had a pig sty on which my dear love sat when he showed me the ring he had bought for me. Yes, right there he popped the question.
Back to the pie story. I made two pies. Both were ruined. I don’t remember how, but I took them out and gave them to the pigs. Maybe I over reacted. Pigs loved them and they didn’t die.
It took a long time to get over that. Twenty-seven years actually, so at 47 years old, (I remember because it was the year I became a grandmother) I took a pie to mom’s Thanksgiving dinner. I overheard mom tell a friend that her eight-year-old granddaughter had made the pie. Didn’t look like much, she said, but it tasted ALL RIGHT!
ALL RIGHT was somewhat encouraging so the next time the church had a bake sale, I tried again. My pie was the last one left and it sold for $1.75. I had bought the ingredients for $12.58! I had to buy spices enough for 32 pies. They don’t sell single-usage spices. Next time I will buy a pie at Pioneer Pies and put my name on it.
I’m not one to hold a grudge so next pot luck dinner, I tried again. That time I made a strawberry pie with my own crust, very crispy. Problem was that they thought it was Chips and Salsa. Good thing they had other choices for both chips and dip, and pie. Mine wasn’t very appealing as either, so not many tried it out.
Well, my last try looked pretty good when I put it in the oven. Quite exciting. Maybe I had finally aced it! Put it in, set the temperature and the timer. Three minutes before the timer when off, I heard an explosion, ran to the oven. It was all covered with something like goo. I don’t know what happened. Maybe I used too much yeast or soda, or maybe I shouldn’t have used both. My husband said it might have been caused by the pecans I decorated it with. He told me I should have shelled them first. He said nuts with a bit of water in them will explode – like popcorn.
Being realistic, I quit trying. But I still think of those beautiful pies I will never make – French Silk, Italian Nut, German Almond, Persian Praline Pecan, Latin Lovers Lemon Lusty D-Lite ……. I wonder if I could buy a can of pie fill…. No, Don’t!