“It’s the Holy Ghost and Fire, and He’s all over me and He’s keeping me alive, keeping me alive, keeping me alive. Well, He’s all over me and He’s keeping me alive, Jesus is keeping me alive.” * Written by: Alvin Darling, Lyrics Peermusic Publishing
I had quite a experience which confirmed once again to me that I am living because the Lord makes it so. My body/heart must be in an ugly mess.
I called the heart doctor last week because I was having a few disturbing signs that I wanted to discuss. An appointment was made for today (Tuesday). I was to have an ultragram on the two arteries in my neck. I went in for that. It didn’t take long before I knew the “tester” was somewhat disturbed. She left the room, came back a couple of times. It seemed to take a long time. Actually it was about an hour. She said she was through but she needed to go be sure the pictures were sent to adoctor right then. I don’t know what doctor she contacted but it was not my normal cardiologist. She was told to take me to ER.
She came back with a wheelchair and told me I was to go to ER. So off I went. They treated me as if I were in the midst of a crises. Asked about pain, pressure, and all the things they believed must be going wrong. Asked who was with me. I told them I had brought myself and I felt fine. I was planning to meet my sister for our walking time, then go out to eat. They were the only ones stopping me from being out and about. I called Sammy to tell him they were about to take me to a room to keep me. I waited. And waited hooked up to all my monitors. Everything looking and feeling fine to me.
Finally a doctor came and told me no worries. After more time I was told that they would be coming to release me. Finally someone got word from my cardiologist that the images looked fine. So I was wheeled to my car. Got in and drove myself home.
All the ER stuff was based on the way my ultragram looked. I know it’s a mess; my doctors know its a mess. I know I live because the Lord keeps me living; the doctors who know me must be getting that idea. They have records, they know about my near death in 2013. They know I live by faith, not by what they see. They also know I believe they are instruments in His hands to do what is best for me.
There are so very many “whys” I as I discussed in my post “Why Me, Lord.” I don’t know but I do know I am a functioning miracle. So why this constant in and out of medical crisis? Why am I not healed, restored to a body that is well? I have no idea. I guess it is because I am old! 😀
Maybe it is so I can keep telling you, our Healing Lord is faithful. You are here for His purpose and He will fulfill that purpose.
When I was on my way home, I spoke to Jesus the way I sometimes do. Something like “Well, Lord, you sure set me up for the day, didn’t you?” I could feel his loving presence. I began singing to him in some language I don’t understand. Nothing could be sweeter!