Several years ago I wrote a paper called “Put Me In Remembrance,” which was I was inspired to do at the bidding of Isaiah 43:26 where God said, “Put me in remembrance…..”
God keeps record of my acts for him, but I cannot find that He keeps any record of what he does for me. Am I going to allow his wonderful acts to me to be unrecorded? I wish I had kept record. But this will be my attempt to “put him in remembrance” and let him know how very, very much he means to me. The paper is addressed to God. It was written long ago before I had the heart attack which put me in the hospital. —- I found the date. It was in 1999. At that time, I hadn’t gone to a doctor in more than fifty years.
To God: Thanks for bringing me through that “bad spell” this spring. Suffice it to say, I really believed I was having a heart attack. I’m hesitant to write this because if anyone besides you reads this, they would be so troubled because I “didn’t do anything,” meaning I didn’t go to a doctor. But, yes, I “did something”. I trusted. Trust seems on the surface to’ be an inactive verb. It is not. I talk to students about “active” reading; I tell them to put their minds to it. That’s also trust.
(No record of what you have done for me can be near fair if I cannot write about that experience; but I’m having a hard time. Please help me.) Every concern pounded my mind. Family first. How upset they would be if I did die! They would be mad at me and maybe you, too. (Hey, I finally used that word – die. I’m making some progress.) Legal matters. Nothing is ready. What about all my stuff? I needed to get rid of excess. Who will know which of my books is worth something? Hope they don’t go in a garage sale for fifty cents each! (I’m getting into this a bit more now. It can even be somewhat humorous.) I wanted to lose some weight before going to heaven. I’d hate to be overweight forevermore. Of course when I get there I’ll be compared to Rembrandt’s ladies, rather than Hollywood’s. (I told you I was beginning to get funny about this.)
I said trust is an active verb. So, how did I act? First, I had to lay aside panic. You did not give me a spirit of fear, II Tim 1 :7. I remembered my “is it more than you can bear” experience. Did I still believe it? Yes, I did. I Cor 10: 13. Churchill – no, I think, Roosevelt said, “The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.” is not true. We have to fear the things our fears may make us do. Would my fear make me turn to man, rather than you. Was I afraid of man? No, I don’t think so; there are a lot of successful heart surgeries. It was just that I did not want to give up my dependence on you for my health. I didn’t think of this scripture, but it is a good one – Ps 56:3 & 4 What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee. In God I will praise his word, in God I have put my trust… How many times the Psalms say to trust in you! Rest in you! Delight in you! Commit to you!
In God, I will praise his word… That brings me to my next action. As Samuel encouraged himself in the Lord his God 1 Samuel 30:6, I also encouraged myself in you by remembering your past healings to me and reminding myself of your word, particularly those I have already mentioned.
Clyde had a heart attack ten years ago. Karen told me he said he knew he was not going to die when he read Ps 115: 17 The dead praise not the Lord, neither any that go down into silence. These scriptures became healing to me.
Ps 118: 17 I shall not die, but live, and declare the works of the Lord.
Ps 9: 13 & 14 … thou that fittest me up from the gates of death; that I may shew forth all thy praise in the gates of the daughter of Zion.:(l had been going to the church pretty regularly to pray. I felt that it really mattered to you that I come to worship you. That thought leaves me speechless. I feel like Job when he said he would cover his lips. He had nothing more to say. You care that I come to talk to you!)
Note to readers: Clyde is my brother; Karen is my sister. Clyde is now 85. He is still having heart problems even in hospital this week, but also still believing that he is here are on earth in order to praise and thank God and that God will keep him until the day God ordains to take him home.