My love story! Here.

My heart breaks for young people these days. Those who never experience the picture drawing, winks, making peanut butter sandwiches, dreaming fairy tale dreams, carrying twigs together, codes (like every time Sammy cleared his throat in class, it meant I Love You) – all working up to that magic moment when they can hold hands! And finally get a kiss. Then comes love, marriage and the baby carriage.

Imagine believing sex is proof of an intimate relationship. Imagine thinking sex is love. Imagine seeing your guy with another girl after giving him the most precious symbol of your purity. Imagine making a choice of whether to marry to give your baby a legitimate name, or killing it in the name of abortion. Imagine being pregnant and the love of your life flies the coop. Imagine 17 girls getting pregnant in high school as a lark. Imagine having 14 children without a husband.

A special word to guys.  Is your hero/mentor/model a sports star who brags that he has had 20,000 women.  Maybe he “had” twenty thousand women, but he did not have one love.  Does this headline thrill you, “The Top 15 Basketball Players Who Hooked Up With the Most Women?”  If you are only a sex robot, you are nothing that approximately one half the world’s population could be if they sold out for that goal. Have you never had a woman love and admire you?  What a loss.

And another thing, Men and Women, you will never find real love – the kind that takes a heap of forgiveness – without God in your love. He is Love. There is no love without him. Good news, He designed the whole love and married sex thing. You don’t have to be bashful about talking to Him about your sex life. If you have already messed up, He is the best at giving a new shot at getting things straightened out. Heaven knows, Sammy and I have had plenty of experience with that also.  

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
This entry was posted in God's love, long marriage, sexual practices, sexual situations and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.


  1. Oneta— you are a marvelous force we a tremendous Guide!!

  2. floridaborne says:

    Having been married 5 times, I agree that it is better to be in a marriage without sex that has love than be in a marriage that has no love, only sex. God knows it took 3 divorces for me to understand that no man is perfect, and some are not marriage material. I was given a great marriage with one man (#2), who died after 10 years of marriage. My I married my last husband in 1998 (I’m still with him) Some of us just take longer than others to “get it.” 😒

    • oneta hayes says:

      I am so thankful for your comment. I started to write a paragraph about folks who face circumstances where they love more than once, but decided not to go into that and end up with a post longer than I wanted. Congratulations on finding the one who can help make up the lost years.

  3. pranabaxom says:

    Been married to only one for thirty eight years, so can’t comment much with many of the things you said, though for a change I agree in most part with what you said.🙏🙏

  4. Faye says:

    Good on you. EXCELLENT POST. A-men from both of us in our partnership of LOVE with and in Christ here.

  5. says:

    Preach it sister. How sad that so much emphasis is placed on sex. Waiting until marriage is deemed archaic and prudish. Our role models have only one thing they adore and that’s themselves!

    • oneta hayes says:

      That is true. Sad thing is that they have been sold such a lie that sex is the way to satisfy oneself. Once in a while I love three fried eggs and a buttered biscuit, but if I believe that will make me queen of the world, I’m so bereft of knowing how satisfying chocolate fudge is!

  6. Excellent. Love this: “If you have already messed up, He is the best at giving a new shot at getting things straightened out.” That is the truth.


  7. Donitta says:

    Oneta, I just wish all teenage girls could read this !!!

    • oneta hayes says:

      I would love to put some “words of wisdom” on a site where young people would see it. I don’t know how. At this point I just hope enough grammas will bite the bullet and pass my arguments on to their kiddos. Thank you for the comment.

  8. Human Being says:


  9. I agree with you, sadly many young people aren’t able to experience what has been possible years ago due to simple lack of freedom and everything being overly commercialized. I also agree with you that sex is a natural process that should be present in every marriage. It is only natural to want to experience said union of two loving hearts that translates into a joyous physical explosion of intimacy and emotions. A lot of people struggle with the idea of sex, love, religion and marriage, as they are simply unable to express their true desires to the one that they love in fear of being ridiculed, hurting their partner or going against religious convictions. In my practice I see many such cases of unfulfilled physical desires which sadly leads to divorce. If however people are able to openly express their true feelings regarding sex and intimacy much can change in a relationship. Again, love is first and foremost a precursor to a happy relationship, and yet even then much can change if both partners fail to communicate their true intentions and desires. Of course it all starts form childhood and again, I do agree that many miss out on the simple, innocence. Thank you for your post!

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you for this commentary. Help to turn young minds to what a real love fulfillment means. The shallow picture of sex as love is so dominant in almost all entertainment venues. Sad.

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