LISTEN UP, LADIES (second time around)

Cut, edit and paste from 2017. I’ll probably be off the blog for a few days. I’m fine but working diligently on a family project.

Listen up, Ladies.  Many of you I am mad at!  I have been where most of you are in age and maturity.  But I have been in one place most of you are not, and I am so sorry for you.  Individually you may be innocent, but the culture in which you live, is NOT.  I had an advantage of living in a culture that was innocent.  You know the culture I am referring to.  Many of you mock it – the 50’s when Father Knows Best respected fathers, I Love Lucy was funny without sex and body functions, Leave it to Beaver had a mother at home, Wagon Train where men protected the ladies.  We no longer reap what was sown in those years.

This rage of mine finally tipped over from the headline indicating  students and faculty at Tennessee State University can no long “whistle in a suggestive manner” without danger of being fired, fined, or dismissed.  Say what!

Women, where have you been every night there has been a one night stand?  Where have you been when a couple has “shacked up?”  Where have you been while the law has made it possible for you to legally kill your baby because you were willingly participating in the act that caused that baby?  Where have you been when movie makers made a fortune on filth?

For every one night stand there has been a girl involved.  Every time a couple “shack up” there is a girl involved.  Don’t go all “naive” on me.  Your acceptance of pre-marital sex has become so dominate, the very innocent recognition of a male noticing you, you interpret as an aggression – a harassment, a threat.   In too many cases, accepting a dinner invitation has equaled an overnight stay in the motel room.  How far is that from the norm?  I don’t know but I do know from reading “singles” blogs it is viewed widely as expected.

I’ve been whistled at – a wolf whistle – it is called.  Sometimes it might have made me uncomfortable, but at the same time I was glad to be noticed!  It was not an invitation for a romp in the bed; it was not a “warning” that I might be raped.

From 50 to 80 % of women spend $43 on a shopping trip for make-up, totaling up to about $15,000 for make-up in a lifetime.  And you don’t want to be noticed!?

Schools teach children “protective” sex measures because of their “raging hormones” but you are aghast at a guy’s raging hormones at a drinking party!  I am told if I don’t like filthy movies, stay away.  I pass that on to you ladies, if you don’t like what happens when you are loopy drunk, stay away from the loopy drunk stage.

So some time a guy waits for you to get off work in order to walk you home.  Well that has happened to me also.  It didn’t mean we hopped into bed when we got there.  It meant he might ask me out for a movie sometime.  (My bad luck, since I didn’t go to movies.)

I was in a car driving main with about five guys one time in the 50’s; I got there because of a male cousin.  What!?  The most sexual thing they did was take a sharp right turn fast enough to laugh at the fact that I leaned against the driver.  Yep, they laughed at me.  Dare one of them run for political office now!  What a story!

So everything was not innocent.  No – but overall the culture was one of innocence.  Breaking those mores was as much the fault of women as it was of men.  We want to be equal?  We want control?  Then take some responsibility for the garbage that masquerades itself as normal in this age of progressive enlightenment.   Stop playing the victim!  Stop lying!  (Oops even if you lasted this long, I lost you then.)  You felt threatened thirty years ago, but could only swallow your trauma until just in “the nick of time” to make you trauma public on national TV. Nice timing.

I’m quitting.  I will be back for some further sage advice later.

About oneta hayes

ABOUT ME Hello. To various folks I am Neat’nee, Mom, Grandma Neta, Gramma, Aunt Neta, Aunt Noni, Aunt Neno, and Aunt Neto (lots of varieties from little nieces and nephews). To some I’m more like “Didn’t you used to be my teacher?” or “Don’t I know you from someplace?” To you, perhaps, I am a Fellow Blogger. Not “fellow” like a male or a guy, but “fellow” like a companion or an adventurer. I would choose to be Grandma Blogger, and have you pull up a chair, my website before you, while I tell you of some days of yore. I have experienced life much differently than most of you. It was and is a good life. I hope to share nuggets of appreciation for those who have gone before me and those who come after me. By necessity you are among those who come after me and I will tell you of those who came before. Once upon a time in a little house on a prairie - oops, change that lest I commit plagiarism - and change that “house on the prairie” to “dugout on the prairie.” So my story begins...
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23 Responses to LISTEN UP, LADIES (second time around)

  1. Well, Oneta, tell us how you REALLY feel. 😏
    Loved your “rant.” I’m a bit younger than you, but I remember my high school days, when the “sexual revolution” was the new thing, and I was laughed at for not hopping on board. I was one of the first in my class to be married, and 48 years later still married to the same guy. I don’t feel like I missed anything, except maybe hangovers , unwanted pregnancies, broken family, addictions, etc. I’m going to my 50th class reunion next week. (51st actually, last year’s got cancelled due to Kovd.) It’s always interesting to see what’s happening in the lives of my peers, and as always I am ready and able to tell anyone who wants to know about the God who has been faithful to me all these years.
    Keep up the great work, Oneta. You are my role model ❤️.
    Annie

    • oneta hayes says:

      I guess I pretty much said it. 😀 Congratulations on making wise choices to base your life and love on. In addition to the wise choice with your man, you have a dedication to commitment. I believe no couple married 48 years has not seen a few days or weeks when they could have thrown in the towel and called it quits. “In this world you will have trouble, but one does not need to ask for it!

  2. Tangie says:

    Love and saving this. Enjoy your day

    • oneta hayes says:

      Thank you, Tangie. I believe I saw that you had become a follower of my blog. Thank you. I have followed you for a while. I enjoy your variety. Pass my message on to those who have no Christian role models. I’m sure you would be a good one.

  3. Jacquie says:

    As they say, it takes two to tango. Helen Gurley Brown has a lot to answer for

  4. atimetoshare.me says:

    It’s time for us to get back to the old ways. Maybe it’s because I’m going to be 80 in a couple months, but I’ve always enjoyed being treated like a lady. That’s why I married the man I did. He has always been my knight in shining armor and the one who will go to bat for me when I’ve come up against a wall. I’ve never felt that he was anything but my equal. If we all follow Jesus’ example of loving one another, regardless of our sex, our wealth, our status, or anything else that might get in the way, we’d all be a lot happier. As soon as it becomes a contest to see who is better, it’s bound to crash.

  5. capost2k says:

    Dear Oneta, I was raised in that “innocent” time, as well, and deeply appreciate your bringing balance to the issue of sexual responsibility. However, there were times I was the initiator of immoral choices, that the woman would never have initiated. (I say this to my shame.) So yes, she should have said, “No,” and she will need forgiveness or give account for her willingness, like Eve, to be seduced by the dark side. But I would have to give account as well for being the serpent and tempting, if Jesus had not rescued me from my own destruction.
    Jesus is merciful, otherwise we would all be lost.
    ❤️&🙏, c.a.

    • oneta hayes says:

      My rant has two parts. The guys’ turn will come up. As Tangie says above “It takes two to tango,” also two to tangle. And it is my opinion that the male population are ahead of the females, but only by a little. 😀

  6. jsneese62 says:

    I was born in the 60’s and while not as innocent as the 50’s there was innocence there. Not in my family, but in the era itself. I had no real role models growing up especially after my biological dad died, and my grandma. I had no idea what having virtue was. My mom had four children and all four had different dads and she was only married to two of them. My dad was 60 when i was born and my mom was 30. He was one of the lights of my life until he died when i was 10 years old.
    I got pregnant out of wedlock, but I took responsibility for them, loved, and raised them.
    Women today have no idea what being a lady is about they give it up visually before there is even a date and by the time the date is over she has given it up wholly. I like the point you made about the makeup and I would like to add revealing clothes to that. They say don’t stare at me while they wear clothes that show pretty much everything and it is a game to them. I use to have a friend that was rather busty and she would go to church in very low cut tops. She came home one day just fuming because her mother and some of the other women asked her to not wear tops like that to church because it was not appropriate and was distracting to the men and teenage boys. The thing that has always baffled me is her husband never seemed to have a problem with her dressing like that and other men looking at his wife’s chest. I do not foresee us ever going back to those days of innocence again the world at this point is pretty far gone.

    • oneta hayes says:

      Yes, yes. How did I miss that thing about the clothes or more to the point, the lack of clothes! I’m glad you got to spend a few years with a good man who loved you. I had a quiet, but strong, father. i had a loud, and strong, mother. 😀 They gave me security in Jesus and provided our social among family and church acquaintances.

      • jsneese62 says:

        If it had not been for my biological dad I would have grownup hating men, but he showed me there were good men in the world. He was a big man quiet and loving. My mom was a very big woman and very loud, but not as strong as she let on. I actually found God on my own, because no one in my family knew Him.
        Yes, the clothes it is terrible the way girls and women dress these days. When my daughter was growing up every spring we did the bend over test with her skirts and dresses and if I could see anything it got donated no matter if she liked it or not. I told her plainly she would not dress like a hooker. Make up she was not allowed until she was around 15 or 16 and then it was very little.

  7. Well said Oneta! I heartily agree with everything you said…keep saying it how it is!

  8. Adelheid says:

    Say it louder for the people at the back! If this is called a rant, then, I welcome this rant. The acceptance of pre-marital sex is something I can’t accept. I hate to think that sexual responsibility is not common nowadays. Thanks for this piece! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

  9. biloxigal43 says:

    Although I was reared in the 60s, my parents brought us up in an environment that reflected the 50s! It was a time so innocent, all I ever did was play hard with friends, go to school and go to church! My parents were very strict, especially with his three girls! Daddy was the disciplinarian of the house, while mama was the example of womanhood! I have always called my mother the salt of the earth because she has always done the right thing! I am very thankful to my parents for raising me the way they did, my only regret is not knowing what was in the world before I got on my own. God has always taken care of me! I am the one out of four children, that always got the good jobs! It seems like when one door closes another one opens! I have not been the most faithful to God but in these last three years, I am closer than ever before! Thanks Oneta!✝️🇺🇸🌎✝️🖖🏼

    • oneta hayes says:

      Bless your parents who gave you a good foundation to build on. Thanks for your story. It is good that we sometimes fall when we can self-evaluate and discover that we can’t do everything on our own. That picture drives us back to our Lord and his standard of behavior for us. Then we rise and press on.

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