As I stood in that long wide hall looking at the poster with a picture of the car, my heart began to do funny things. I murmured, “You’re going to give me that car, aren’t you, Lord.”
But I’m getting ahead in this story that happened in 1955 probably in September, when my first born, Carl, was two years old. We lived in a two bedroom trailer house. Both bedrooms were together in the back. My husband and I were asleep when I was awakened by Carl crying because he had fallen out of bed. I got up and put him back in bed. I suppose I soothed him a bit, then went back to bed. Carl began crying again. I became irritated and got up and spanked him for crying. (Oh, God, that is so hard to admit.) Carl quit crying.
My brother, Clyde, was spending the night with us. He must have been sleeping on the couch in the front. Since he was there, my husband and I both went to work. It was early so we left Clyde and Carl both sleeping. I went to my job at Tinker Air Force Base where I was a typist in a typing pool where I typed material for five airplane inspectors.
About noon I received a phone call from Clyde. He said he had taken Carl to the doctor. The doctor said Carl had a cracked collar bone. I was crushed with guilt and despair! I loved that child with everything in me, and I had spanked him for crying—never did I have a thought that he might be hurt. I should have known something was wrong! Carl was a good child; he would never have continued crying when I told him to stop! (Oh, God, how I thank you for forgiveness. Even now I have a hard time remembering to forgive myself.)
Loaded with guilt but with no choice, I had to continue my job. Up early, dress Carl, take him to the sitter, go to work—you all know the routine. It seemed I had no time to immerse myself in my son. No time or way to make up to him for what I had done.. .
Now to the poster part! In those days, our city had the United Fund drive every fall. I was a dedicated United Fund supporter. Even before marrying, my husband and I helped canvas the neighborhood to raise funds. All workers were asked to donate a half day’s pay. I had done that routinely as I did every fall. Look at the poster! It says there will be a drawing for a free car, a new Oldsmobile 88, for someone who supported United Fund. My name was already in the hat!
When I saw that, I knew God was going to give me a way out of my pain. I purposed to sell the car and stay home with Carl for as long as the funds would last.
Shortly after the appointed time, 10:00 AM, on the day of the drawing, with my fingers flying over the keys, my mind transcribing some inspector’s handwriting, and my heart doing flip-flops, the door opens and in runs an excited inspector, I called, “I won the car, didn’t I?” YES, YES, YES! ……
We took a trade in of an older car plus cash enough that I got to be a “stay at home” mom for six months! My gift from Jesus. My healing from Jesus. My “mommy time” from Jesus.
Sweet aroma 
It’s just a sixth sense, isn’t it… When I was pregnant with Brandon, not even ten days late yet, God told me to go to the OB so I’d know for Christmas. That was Christmas Eve. I did and I was!!! Learning to listen to the inner voice is the hard part. 🙂
And he so patiently teaches. The key is to move in the obedience we are aware of. Sure, I jokingly say I try to “work up” those feelings again – doesn’t work. Actually I don’t try. I am so happy with real, I never want fake! I’d love to hear more of your story. Your “angel” story was so wonderful.
God is so very merciful with us as parents! What a great story of encouragement–God knew the pain in your heart and your heart’s desire.
His ways are past finding out! but I like them.
Powerful post! In such marvelous mystery dwells the Lord of the Universe and the savior of our souls! 🙂 ❤
Life in him is certainly an adventure. The more one walks in obedience, the greater the adventure. There are some who refuse to commit to him because there sometimes comes pain and suffering too. True, but I don’t know of anyone who has found the primrose garden where there is no pain. Pain with God can be an adventure, pain without Him just hurts. Sometimes it takes a long time to learn that.
Absolutely and amen! 👍😊❤️
What a beautiful post Oneta. God sees our heart. He saw yours and he knew that you needed that respite.
He is beyond one’s imagination – full of surprises. Thanks Jacque, for the visit.
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With pleasure. I love shares. Best to you, dear Jacque.
Now that is flexibility and having a choice. We lost that choice somewhere. If that had happened to me I would have paid off a bill and kept on working. Nowadays with it becoming fashionable for the men to stay home, I really hope this generation finds opportunities for each parent to flip flop staying home. Especially since children wake up in the middle of the night during the first year.
Personally, I have this internal need to both stay home and make my own money. I’ve spent a couple of decades trying to figure out what that means so I keep on working and I keep on writing. I really hope writing wins.
04ling, that is what was so amazing about this experience. I knew I had the car for that purpose. Normally I would have just seen it as “money” but is was “time” instead. I was always a career mom, but being a teacher did give me more time at home than many careers. Thanks for you comment.
When I was about that age I fell off a swing and then was spanked for continuing to cry. But I was a somewhat difficult child, as most kids with autism are, so I sure don’t hold it against my mom. As it turned out, hours later they realized my arm had swollen, so brought me to the doctor. I still have the tiny cast. And I am not at all upset with my mom. She was just trying to do her best.
How sweet for you to tell me that. It is true that children are so quick to forgive – at least, for parents mistakes, maybe not for real abuse.
Oh, the depths of a mother’s heart!
Isn’t it so wonderful that God understands!